Life According to Steph: Thursday Thoughts - as free as the wind and hopefully learning

1. A series of unfortunate events: Tuesday, lunchtime. I had been putting errands off because it's been too hot. I thought it was bearable and set out to do them by bike but alas, it was not. Sweating like mad. The sign I was picking up was so big I had to balance it on my handlebars. I have been wanting to get a Bungalow Bowl for months, but the one near me cut its hours due to Corona and the order times were always super long for pickup and I kept forgetting and not placing orders in enough time to stave off hanger. Tuesday was my lucky day, I chose an off hours time and ordered well ahead, everything was beautiful. I put my precious Here Comes the Sun bowl in my bike basket but due to the aforementioned sign I could not ride with my hand on it like I normally would so it bounced and spilled within seconds. Two blocks later I tied my bike to my porch, ran inside like my ass was on fire to corona wash my hands, ran back outside, scooped that shit back into the bowl, threw it in the freezer, and freaking ate it. Later I poured hot water and dish soap in my bike basket and called it a day. Josie Grossy reporting for duty. Also. I freaking hit my head on my counter, saw stars, and had to lay down for a half hour in a dark room. It was all worth it.

2. Did you like that one, with the fuckery? Yes? People always like stories when things go wrong because as long as it doesn't result in serious loss or injury, it's amusing. Let's do another. Yesterday I fed Bruce and Ben around 4 like normal. A half hour later, I was stepping to the left to grab a box cutter and my heel went in Bruce's ceramic bowl and started to slide swiftly on the vinyl floors, not nearly as gracefully as Dottie Hinson. I swear my life flashed before my eyes. I am sort of okay. Twenty years ago I would have been totally okay.

3. Speaking of floors, every year since 2012 has been the year we were going to redo the floors in the Philly house. And never did. Something always came up. They got worse and worse, literally without varnish in most spots. This was going to be the year! Then coronavirus. WELL we finally got them done for a song this week, just took them back to natural wood. I am super pleased and can't wait to see them in person next week. The photos are not true before and afters because MFD is not a blogger. Sorry about it.

Done! The dark spot is the dining room chandelier shadow.

The kitchen was mostly inaccessible during this project.

Kudos to MFD on managing his floor and shed projects up there this week - the shed project was also supposed to be done back in February in anticipation of his mom moving in but coronavirus and my mother-in-law passed away and here we are in July but in any case we have our shed situation sorted which we also mentioned doing soon when we moved in in...2009. The guys who did the floors? They came and took our old plastic sheds, so it was an awesome neighborhood connection for a great price and the spur of the moment job worked out well. Which is totally compliments in MFD's favor - I do not do well with "oh, can you have everything on your first floor moved out in less than 24 hours?" But he does and he did.

4. Mask Monday or Friday is one of my favorite WFH life things. No longer taking up weekend time on that shit. I can do my work with a mask on just as easy as without. I love this mask but it's the first time you're seeing it because I look like I have just assisted Dexter with a murder project but then I thought it's corona land, give the people something WTF to laugh at. It's good, I swear. Frightening but good.

5. Wednesdays are on the rise for my favorite weekday day of the week because I've been flexing 10-6 work hours and going to the farmers market and taking care of some other biz. This week that was getting OPC, taking a long walk and checking out all the blooms, enjoying farm fresh eggs from my neighbors, cutting up fruit and replenishing my lemons/limes I go through like crazy, chilling with Natalie Merchant and incense like it was 1992, wiping down the bath, dropping cardboard at the recycle center and laundry at the wash & fold. It breaks up my week and I like the groove. I feel accomplished before I start work and that bleeds over into accomplishments during the day.

6. How to tell my niece has been around: my crystals and sea glass are out.

7. Have you heard of the people doubling down on all lives matter and blue lives matter and have no problem saying either but still can't say black lives matter? Keep going.

8. I don't know why people do not understand why governors are requiring food sales and not just booze. Booze makes you looser, unable to see what six feet is, forgetful. Don't act like you don't fucking know that and make a hurrhurr the government is fucking crazy and we are smart like OMG so you don't get covid if you eat AND drink but you can get it if you only drink sure government you are killing America, God. Welp, someone is stupid, and you can probably look closer than further for that person. Come the fuck on, everyone. It does spread much easier standing shoulder to shoulder with people with no masks and you can't wear them when you're drinking. Don't be giving bars that are doing proper distancing and what they need to do food-sales wise to remain open a fucking bad name by acting a fool. Also Fearless Leader now says covid is bad and to wear masks so wear a fucking mask. Another also. If you wanted kids back in school and sports back in the fall you should have fucking listened in the spring and kept being careful through summer and worn a goddamn mask without endless bitching and not busted out like hyenas and maybe they'd be back in school safely for everyone. You should also vote for people who put people in charge of the Department of Ed that don't fucking defund schools. I am tired of people not connecting any of the dots. It's not that hard. We had to cancel fall girls weekend and I am fucking livid that everyone couldn't just buckle down at any point and this shit is just going to go on and on - here. In America. Because we cannot look around the world and take fucking notes on how to stop the spread.