Standing still

This is my favorite tree in full, glorious bloom.

It's across from my house and I usually have 10 seconds a day to look at it as I dash to my car to make the train. On mornings when I'm extra rushed and digging for my keys, I forget to look up at all.

By the time I get home at the end of the day, I just want to get inside, change, do what needs doing. I forget to look.

Weekends? I’m at the shore. When I pack and unpack my car, I'm focused on other things. I forget to look.

With nothing but time here, now, I’ve been going out to look at it with my coffee every morning. I make it a point to look. I've forgotten how much joy I can derive from a few moments of standing still and looking.

Being in a hurry to go and get and do already seems so far away.

Going back to some version of that also seems far away, and in this corona life I find myself not being able to look more than a few days ahead.

Today, this morning, this moment...it’s right here. It's what we have. It's the only thing 100% true and knowable.

The fact that it’s not gray like it’s been for four days feels like the most amazing gift.

I can’t only think about what we’re losing and missing through all of this. I hope you think outside of that too. The slow down can have bright sides too.

Happy April. Stand still and look.

A version of this message originally appeared on instagram