The future is female - Pennsylvania Conference for Women

The Pennsylvania Women's Conference is the most hopeful I have been since Election Day in November. I truly believe women will lead us out of the political and social mess we are in in this country. I feel that in my bones and this day reinforced that times a million. We are going to get more seats in government and at the tables of our workplaces. We are going to forge a future that is better for us and our families. We are going to do these things because if we don't we cannot move forward or even tread water.

It's funny how many people take offense to the phrase the future is female. Listen up, frail men: it's been your world since the beginning of time. History and all that. So excuse me if we are reclaiming our time and not being quiet about it.

The crowd felt largely progressive. It also felt diverse and powerful. I definitely got more out of the keynotes at the opening session and lunch than I did out of the sessions. It was also great to meet a lot of smart, strong women. The exhibit hall was excellent also.

I am a copious note taker and I'm about to lay a lot of text on you. Here are some things that resonated with me and might resonate with you as well:

Sandra Leung from Bristol-Myers Squibb:
-None of us can afford to be invisible in the workplace.

Carla Harris from Morgan Stanley - she was totally amazing. I mean, she advocates celebrating your birthday all month. Her energy was fire. How could I not feel a bond?
-Own your power. Never let anyone make you doubt that which is uniquely you. If you let people do that, you have given away your power.
-If you were invited into the room, you belong at the table. Do not sit at the table and keep your mouth closed.
-In order to grow your power, give it away. When you empower others you amplify yourself.
-Fear has no place in your success equation. If you approach things from a place of fear, you will under-penetrate every opportunity. Fear is false evidence of things appearing real.
-If you meet someone and they tell you you are too much for them, they are right. Do not dim your light for someone else's convenience.
-If you don't ask, you don't get. You are responsible for your career.
-If you don't make a mistake, you're not reaching far enough. Everyone makes mistakes, what matters is if and how you get up. Resilience is important. Do not carry the mistake as baggage - it creates a competitive disadvantage for you. Life is a journey and you have a long runway.
-When life comes to teach you a lesson, if you don't pass the test you will repeat the class.
-Do not use your personal currency on things that are not worth it.
-If you ask for help and are turned down, there is one word - next.
-Always default to TRY. Always play for YES.
-Know that you know that you know you have all the goods you need to maximize your success.

Shonda Rhimes
-Names we call people matter, and we're not talking about given names. Nice, well behaved, pretty, sweet girl is not what we should default to when we talk about girls. Tell your kids they can be anything. Give them naming rights. That is power.
-Names you give ideas matter. Don't say obstacle because then there are obstacles.
-You can't be discouraged or break or give up because of how things are. The reality of life is all male and all white until you walk in the door. When you walk in the door, the future changes.
-How we name something dictates how we deal with it. We let fear name things. We are afraid of brilliance, beauty, wanting something, failing, succeeding, being out of our league. Rename your fears. Put the naming rights in your pocket. On behalf of women, go name the world your own.
-We belong in any room we are in.

Shawn Achor
-Joy can co-exist with displeasure because happiness is not pleasure. It is the joy we feel moving towards our potential. The opposite of happiness is not unhappiness. It is apathy.
-We are afraid of happiness as a society.
-Optimism is great but will not stop reality. If you sugarcoat the present, it sucks. We need rational optimism - the belief that behavior will matter if linked to the right people. Our brains are designed to co-process the world.
-Sustainable happiness comes from using your energy to make others better.
-Happiness does not exist on the other side of success. As soon as I get...I'll be happy. But we keep moving the goal post. If you raise your levels of happiness you will raise your levels of success, not the other way around.
-Re-train your brain to look for success and connection, not mistakes and errors. Many jobs train us to look for mistakes and errors. We have to find a way around that.

Leslie Stiles
-The best way to make a difference in the world is to make a difference in your situation. Push yourself. Develop your strengths. And use them to build a world that is equitable and tolerant and safe for all.

Dr. Brene Brown
-People are hard to hate close up. Move in. We are in a time of rampant de-humanization of people. The line is not left or right. The line is what is human or not.
-Speak truth to bullshit but be civil.
-Don't let someone frame your beliefs. When they do that, you need to call bullshit.
-Walk through the world with a strong back, a soft front, and a wild heart.
-You do not negotiate your worth or belonging with other people. That is yours. That is what you carry in your heart and how you show up.

Michelle Obama - full disclosure, I was basically basking in the comfort her presence brought to a cavernous room and enjoying sitting and listening to her have a conversation with Shonda Rhimes like we were a big audience of girlfriends, so my notes are lacking here. She is powerful, down to earth, strong, and present. She did not talk about her husband, although he did pop in with a pre-recorded message for their 25th anniversary, which was that day.
-There are all these rules that slowly suffocate young girls and give them small cuts: you ask too many questions, put your hand down, cross your legs, sit like a lady, girls don't do that.
-Women worry too much about failing to lean in. Men do not let fear of failure stop them.
-Shame on us if we sit by and let an imposter talk us down.
-Put yourself on the calendar first. Don't give your time away indiscriminately.
-Ask questions, don't make judgments.

An empowering, worthy day. I am worth it. You are worth it. The baby girls and young ladies are worth it. We are all worth it and we are more powerful than we allow ourselves to show.