Life According to Steph: Shit MFD Said Vol 44

Friday, October 27, 2017

MFD: No one in this house is impressed with your Coffee Town right now, okay? You could have left the pot where I had it.

Me: I put it back! Good as new. Welcome to Coffee Town.

MFD: Is there coffee?

Me: Of course there is, in that green thing where it always is.

MFD: I didn't know if you thought Coffee Town was a real, functioning place or just an imaginary staging area.

Watching hurricane devastation

MFD: See, you'd survive this situation.

Me: Me? Why?

MFD: Because you'd be with me. I would find a clean water source. We might have to walk many miles to get to it but...

Me: But I don't want to do that.

MFD: You can just Randy it up at home I guess. I don't want to, what is that?

Me: I am not surviving an apocalyptic scenario. We have discussed this a million times.

The night after the PA women's conference

Me: I just cleared out the sink. If you leave those dishes in there and don't put them in the dishwasher I'm going to punch you.

MFD: What did you learn today, how to smash the patriarchy without being nice?

MFD: Did you make Mae food or something?

Me: No, why?

MFD: What's in this tin?

Me: Brownies that are healthy. They taste like baked poop.

MFD: They look like baked poop too. I don't think brownies are supposed to be healthy.

MFD: What was with that pasta?

Me: It’s for my lunch.

MFD: It’s good.

Me: You ate my lunch?

MFD: Little bit.

Me: Why would you eat my lunch?

MFD: It didn’t say Stephanie’s Lunch.

Me: We’ve been over this before. If it’s packaged in a small thing, it’s my lunch.

MFD: Listen, you should get your own lunch refrigerator.

MFD: Google blue poop.

Me: Why?

MFD: Google it and tell me what it says.

I do that

MFD: What? No. That’s not scientific.

Me: That’s what it says on what your poop is trying to tell you dot com

Three minutes of silence

MFD: Alright then. Google bluish green poop.

Me: I’m done googling colored poop.

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