MFD: No one in this house is impressed with your Coffee Town right now, okay? You could have left the pot where I had it.
Me: I put it back! Good as new. Welcome to Coffee Town.
MFD: Is there coffee?
Me: Of course there is, in that green thing where it
always is.
MFD: I didn't know if you thought Coffee Town was a real, functioning place or
just an imaginary staging area.
MFD: See, you'd survive this situation.
Me: Me? Why?
MFD: Because you'd be with me. I would find a clean water
source. We might have to walk many miles to get to it but...
Me: But I don't want to do that.
MFD: You can just Randy it up at home I guess. I don't
want to, what is that?
Me: I am not surviving an apocalyptic scenario. We have discussed this a million times.
The night after the PA women's conference
Me: I just cleared out the sink. If you leave those
dishes in there and don't put them in the dishwasher I'm going to punch you.
MFD: What did you learn today, how to smash the
patriarchy without being nice?
MFD: Did you make Mae food or something?
Me: No, why?
MFD: What's in this tin?
Me: Brownies that are healthy. They taste like baked poop.
MFD: They look like baked poop too. I don't think
brownies are supposed to be healthy.
MFD: What was with that pasta?
Me: It’s for my lunch.
MFD: It’s good.
Me: You ate my lunch?
MFD: Little bit.
Me: Why would you eat my lunch?
MFD: It didn’t say Stephanie’s Lunch.
Me: We’ve been over this before. If it’s packaged in a small thing, it’s my lunch.
MFD: Listen, you should get your own lunch refrigerator.
MFD: Google blue poop.
Me: Why?
MFD: Google it and tell me what it says.
I do that
MFD: What? No. That’s not scientific.
Me: That’s what it says on what your poop is trying to tell you dot com
Three minutes of silence
MFD: Alright then. Google bluish green poop.
Me: I’m done googling colored poop.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
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He's a riot. However, I think I would throat punch someone if they kept eating my food. Food & sleep... two things not to mess around with with me.
ReplyDeleteSo entertaining! I love the comment on smashing the patriarchy without being nice! Definitely gave me a good laugh today!
ReplyDeleteHe is great. I sang "Yes" at I don't think brownies are suppose to be healthy. Truer words have never been spoken.
ReplyDeleteOmg, the lunch-eating. I can so relate to that problem.
ReplyDeleteYou can just Randy it up at home, hahahahah.
ReplyDeleteif my H ate my food, there would be hell to pay!
ReplyDeleteHaha ... but what good can come from googling colored poop? Sounds like he's been eating too many fruit snacks.
ReplyDeleteHahaha cracking up over here! Always love reading this series. Baked poop is too funny and I adore that pic of MFD and Bruce "snuggling" xo Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis
ReplyDelete"Little Bit" Lol Love it!
ReplyDeleteHaha I love the one about the dirty dishes! I know that I'd do and say the exact same thing to Chris!
ReplyDeleteOMG with the poop hahahah. Love all of this!
ReplyDeletehahaha you have to start making things he won't eat! That's what I do with my lunches, I add things like flax and chia seeds and suddenly John thinks it's poison. Works like a charm.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea.
Deletehahaha I guess you need to label your lunches now.
ReplyDeleteHe's right brownies are not supposed to be healthy....
Also ... I googled blue poop whyyyyy?! hahaha
LMAO - what did you learn today?
ReplyDeleteI'm not googling blue poop.
Always a fun read and to catch up on the musings of MFD!
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious! Smash the patriarchy without being nice LOL.
ReplyDeleteHere here MFD brownies are not supposed to be healthy! I may need my own lunch fridge too as that happens to me a lot :-P
ReplyDeleteI lol'ed at smash the patriarchy without being nice. I love these so much.
ReplyDeleteLOLLLL at the patriarchy comment. Also, healthy brownies? No.
ReplyDelete...I agree. Brownies aren't meant to be healthy. Lol!
ReplyDeleteI love that picture with Bruce at the beginning! Hahaha!