I swear over the past three months for every 10 posts, nine of them are negative. And in the comments of the one positive post lurks someone trying to turn the conversation towards the negative because they just can't help themselves.
People seem to spend 97% of the time lamenting over how things are changing and it's everyone else's fault but theirs, 3% of the time ignoring what posts are about and going off on their own diatribe, and 0% of the time thinking of what they could personally do to make their communities better places. Sweet Jesus what a positive impact it would have on the community if people acted with as much fervor as they posted. Reminder: posting on the internet in private groups doesn't count as working hard to be a good member of your community.
There are a few types of people in these groups. The person I hate the most is the one with big internet balls who acts tough and calls people out online instead of knocking on their door and discussing things like adults do. You know, those if you have a problem, you know where to find me people. All the eye rolls, you attention whoring idiot. The person on these sites I love the most is the one who is a comedian in the comments and who keeps up neighborhood running jokes. We need someone to lighten things up and you are heroes.
I'm on a page for our neighborhood in Philly and one for the shore. I literally spend most of my time reading them with my mouth agape. People are fucking crazy and judging from what they post, they don't care who knows it. I have to watch my consumption of these groups because too much has me hating my neighbors and where I live. Don't get me wrong - I know the comfort that comes with commiserating over a common problem, but when it tips too far into everything is a problem and we're all going to die, it's time to get out.
Is this everywhere? Does your neighborhood have one? Does good come out of it or is it Debbie Downerville?
Inciting hate is the last thing we need on Any post. I'm not really on Facebook. Twitter can make me nuts 🥜, politically. I've backed away from posts that may make people angry even though it exposes what goes on in the world. Healing lights and love and laughter to all. Good post! Use these groups for good stuff. Love. Your. Momma
ReplyDeleteSo... what makes me sad about our NextDoor page is the number of lost pets. Every day, all day, multiple posts. FIND BOOBOO! Cat Got Out! LOST DOG! BOOBOO LOST AGAIN! FOund Dog - is it yours? It makes me think they are all irresponsible pet owners and that makes me ragey.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, we have a few vigilantes who terrify me (STOLEN PUMPKIN- I will notify your kids schools to find it! My 6yo was DEVESTATED) in their neighborhood quest for justice.
And it's presently a property tax bitchfest. Sigh.
My friend shares her HOA FB page with me once in awhile for a few laughs. A lot of people complain about schools which definitely gets on my nerves.
ReplyDeleteI hate everything about these pages bc the loudest people just type out their opinions over and over again...like it's no coincidence that it's always the same posters.
You're spot on, Steph. We have them too, and they're hateful, inefficient rabbit holes. I don't use them. I follow our city Facebook page for updates, but I don't use the groups.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a part of a neighborhood FB group (because we don't have one, ha), but my sister-in-law is. When she talks about it it just sounds like it's a place to gossip and spread info about the neighborhood and people in it. Noooo thanks!
ReplyDeletePeople LOVE to be strong, big and tough when they can hide behind the keyboard, egad. We don't have a group and I'm glad, because I think I would flip out reading everything people complain about [which is everything].
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, dont even get me started on our neighborhood FB group!!!! The people I live around are completely ridiculous. Half of them sit on that page all day just waiting for someone to say something. I swear they must not have jobs. Or lives. Or brains. My favorite is when they go off on a tangent and they can't even spell or form sentences. And 9/10 posts are negative. Or they are trying to sell something. Ummm save that shit for your personal page.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit -- YES to everything on this post! I'm in one for my town (which is a pretty small place) and it drives me insane. Everyone comes on there to bitch and complain. One whack job, actually takes pictures, regularly, of a woman who works at the boro office, and parks in a "one hour parking" spot -- or if she parks lopsided.. he takes the pic, posts it and calls her out on Facebook. I'd love to say "look, loser, how is it affecting your daily life and do you not have a life??!" -- All they do is go on there and piss and moan -- YET, I went on the other day and asked if a cancer stricken family was still accepting meals, as I'd seen the original post on that page... and NO ONE answered me. EVER. Guess it wasn't as interesting as the bullshit that is the norm on there.
ReplyDeleteLOL having been off facebook for like a decade now, I didn't know these things existed. It makes me laugh, especially since, let's get real about the age of homeowners, it's an older crowd. Like WTF shouldn't you be a grown up by now?!
ReplyDeleteI stopped following our neighborhood Facebook group for exactly this reason. It's all people complaining about people driving too fast and dogs pooping on their lawns. Yes, those things are bad! But bitching about it every week isn't going to change anything. If we were more proactive, that would be nice. Like maybe our dog poop bag stations should have actual cans to put the used bags in. Yes, we'd have to pay someone to come out and collect it but it would make people marginally less likely to leave (literal) shit all over the place.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA yes to all of this! I'm on one for the small town I live in and it's pretty much now all local ads (which is also annoying AF) but it used to be drama city and then some new holier-than-thou admins took over and remove all the dramatic posts. I'll admit I do miss them sometimes instead of the countless open house/house cleaning/gutter cleaning/plumbing/dog sitting posts.
ReplyDeleteI only lasted 2 weeks in mine. CAN'T DEAL WITH THOSE PEOPLE.
ReplyDeleteIt's the Gladys Kravitz syndrome. People with nothing better to do sit and stare out their windows and report every single thing they see. It's insane.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing about living in the country - not a neighborhood around ;) Though we do have a 'town page' & its mostly lost dogs. Glad to steer clear of that drama
ReplyDeleteOh, I hear you! That's why we have a smaller, secret group just for our peeps. One of the biggest issues on our neighborhood page is people using other's trashcans, which, I grant you is annoying, but the shaming that goes on is nuts. But I will say that this morning someone posted that he had overestimated how much mulch he would need and offered free mulch to anyone who wanted it, so that was a breath of fresh air.
ReplyDeleteWe have a Nextdoor group and it is pretty tame until there is a spike in crime, unpicked up dog poop (the worst!) or someone asks a dumb question.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know such a thing existed! Color me naive! I live in an apartment so I guess we don't have anything like that besides the apartment's facebook page which I presume is run by their management company. But I can absolutely imagine that most neighborhood Facebook groups are like what you described. People just bitch nonstop these days because they can. It's like their job.
ReplyDeleteMy husband & I have made ZERO attempts to get to know our neighbors, lol. Because we are super awkward and never voluntarily go into social situations. For that reason, I kind of wish we had a FB group like this. But I would probably still just lurk so idk if it would be good. So while I have no personal experience...FB groups in general can suck so boo for that :(
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so happy with my no facebook decision. I'm on NextDoor and it just seems to be "free stuff" or "do you have a rec for a fence person" posts. I'm with you, let's stop talking about it and DO something!
ReplyDeleteOur neighborhood Facebook group is like that too, and it's so annoying! I love the comedians though that make fun of all the Debbie Downer people. Funny story about our Facebook group though, Chris's friend flies Blackhawks for the National Guard and he flew over our house one day when Chris was home. He got really low to the ground so you Chris could actually see him and oh my goodness people started freaking out! It was too funny!
ReplyDeleteYes ugh!!!! I live on a military base so it's 10000% more dramatic. I had to hide the pages from my news feed and only reference them when I need to know something.
ReplyDeleteI don't have one of these, but Blue's condo does and she's one of the admins on the FB page. She is constantly having to break up internet "fights" and delete comments and sort through the BS. I honestly don't know how she keeps up. And yes, they are almost all complainers/Debbie Downers who have waaaay too much time on their hands.
ReplyDeleteI was in the Abington facebook group and a smaller one for our neighborhood. That little one was fine, but the big Abington was was DRAMA. I could hardly believe the things people said. I deleted my facebook a while back but sometimes I wish I could pop back in to see what's going on in there lol.
ReplyDeleteI completely relate to this! I used to be a reporter for a local newspaper so I was in A TON of these facebook groups to try and get stories out of them. And they went from being helpful and insightful with community members sharing issues to people just getting angry and saying hateful things for no reason.
ReplyDeleteThen there's people who sit and listen to police scanners all day to write all the details in the Facebook group... like if it's actually important don't worry reporters will cover it. That's their job and they won't miss a big story. Everything else is a waste of time.
http://littlewhytebook.com/
"what a positive impact it would have on the community if people acted with as much fervor as they posted" <-- The most true thing I have seen online all day.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty much spot on. One of my good guy friends is the neighborhood comedian and I kind of read just to see the absurdly hilarious stuff he throws in. The worst are the stay at home moms whose kids are in high school or college and they forgot to get a life of their own. Ugh... sorry maybe a bit harsh but accurate in my hood.
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a neighborhood page, and after reading this, I'm not sure I want to change that.
ReplyDeleteOur neighborhood Facebook is the same way. People whine and complain all the time about stuff that DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. Finally, I got so sick of it I put a post up about how we shouldn't complain about small things, when there are worse things happening. However, someone kept letting their dog defecate in my yard and I got so tired of it, I posted a picture of the shit right on the Facebook page. Ha!
ReplyDeleteSo we're looking for somewhere new to live and I did a quick google to check out an area in particular we're looking at. And I found their Facebook group. It nearly put me off but then I realised that whatever neighbourhood group I find, it will be the same. Which made me want to run far far away into the hills away from people!
ReplyDeleteLOL, we have the Nextdoor app and I finally just deactivated my account. I really devolved into a negative place!
ReplyDeleteWe do have a community blog, of sorts & it's very neighborly and informative.
ReplyDeleteOur Pastor addressed something like this in his sermon. Hiding behind Facebook and texting to address a problem is cowardly, giving false courage. As you said...Knock on the door, and deal with problems face to face, not Facebook to Facebook.
I can't tell you just how much I hate these groups, too. Soooo many people are negative or ask the most stupid shit ever. The same questions get posted daily and you have the same damn keyboard warriors that are oh so tough behind their computer screen. I rarely go into these groups now because I just want to throw my phone at the wall. A big pet peeve of mine is asking stupid questions and then waiting... when you could have bloody well asked google and gotten your response that much quicker, but oh no. People can't do anything for themselves nowadays, that's called effort!
ReplyDeleteSo we haven't moved into our neighborhood yet, but I saw they had a page so I joined it. Overall, it looks like a good page still (at this point). I hope it stays that way but according to you and all the commenters it might not lol!
ReplyDeleteThe page I follow up Facebook is a "news" site for Clinton Hill and the posts are helpful. The comments on the other hand are all over the place. I like that it keeps me updated on changes in the neighborhood and things that have happened, but I just skip over comments. My favorite entertainment is the marketplace. People sell the weirdest stuff.
ReplyDeleteOur neighborhood Facebook page is 50% informative and 50% drama/complainers plus neighbors trying to use it as a business advertisement page. My direct neighbor took the cake last week going psycho with the neighbor on his other side yelling at them (all being videoed) and putting up trespassing signs...meanwhile we have no fences in between. DRAMA! We just try to stay out of it and the psycho has no issues with us even though Lola runs into his yard sometimes which is "trespassing" in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteWe have one and it used to be really bad. There were a lot of open letters to bad pet parents and illegal parkers. And so much absolute crap for sale. (For sale: three very used children's books for $5.) The HOA/moderators set a bunch of rules and now there's a separate buy/sell/trade page and it's been much better for about a year. Right now we're sharing pictures of last night's thunderstorm and celebrating a neighbor's book being published. We also had a big snowman photo competition in February and we found a runaway teen living in the woods behind our houses last month.
ReplyDeleteThere are Facebook pages for my town and you're so right; it's a forum to complain, bitch and whine most of the time.
ReplyDeleteHa. Steph, I was in your neighborhood group and the admin and her banning people and rules made me leave. We have a couple for Mayfair and it's the same sh*t. "Are those gun shots or fireworks? Why does a cop have someone pulled over on xyz? Why is the trash late this week?" Don't even mention pools on lawns or veggie gardens or the ultimate sin --- RENTERS! They complain because a dog pooped on the lawn, the owner picked it up properly with a bag but ----PUT THE BAG IN THE TRASHCAN. Yes. People complain because someone disposed of their properly tied up poop bag in the can of someone who is not the dogs owner.
ReplyDeleteour last neighbourhood didn't have a facebook page, but our new one does. thankfully i've heard enough crazy stuff from friends to know not to join. our neighbours have come up to us or dropped off flyers for things we actually need to know (neighbourhood yard sale, junk pick up etc) without any of the drama.. though i'm slightly a little bit curious to see if there is any drama. my neighbours do seem normal for the most part, but who knows lol
ReplyDelete