Thursday Thoughts - what happened to April?

1. Tuesday morning I stepped into the elevator with a woman. I was digging around in my purse for my office key when I caught the tail end of, "wkjrojf smells so good." I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She said, "Your coffee smells so good. I think it's your coffee. Unless you're wearing cologne that smells like coffee." Say what now? She was totally serious. I think it's the coffee, ma'am. Have a nice day now.

2. It's all fun and games until someone trips over the dog bowl and nearly breaks their face, which is a daily occurrence in our house. I don't know which ahole dog is trying to kill us or if they're all conspiring or what.

3. One week until my dentist appointment. Welcome to my personal march of doom countdown. Sit down! Relax. Enjoy. But don't google march of doom countdown. Weird things come up.

4. Is it Ellen who always wears sneakers with everything? That's going to be me soon. I have a real problem with athleisure shoes and sneakers at this time. I need to stop buying them.

5. Grumpy old men: pug edition.

6. Now that I'm at the shore most weekends, Wednesday night is sort of my hausfrau night. Last night I did some freezer cooking (finished up the breakfast burritos I started this weekend and made power breakfast muffins), changed the sheets and towels and did laundry. I've gone back to my pinterest love affair to figure my way out of this food rut and I don't care who knows. I'm in the process of laying waste to many of my boards on there, deleting a shit ton of things. So expect some revived weekly food prep around these parts. I hope.

7. The NFL draft is in Philly starting today. My walk to the library yesterday was not as pleasing as it normally is. People were in a hot rage over there, yelling at each other, cursing the construction on the Parkway near the draft, beeping. But the fountains are back on so it was a good day in my world. Except for the part where some angry woman gunned it through a stop sign crossing 19th Street and almost ran me over yesterday. She didn't care even a little bit.

8. If one goddamn program that helps citizens of this country is cut while that fucking bound to be ineffectual border wall gets funded and Cheeto Jesus's weekend trips to Mar-a-Lago and housing of his wife and child in New York at the expense of the taxpayers continue unchallenged and unabated, my head is going to spin off.

9. I feel a real need to fit in a quick trip to some Utah National Parks and the Grand Canyon because I don't know how this administration is going to attempt to fuck with federally protected lands. This executive order to review and remove protection from National Monuments so they can be drilled for oil and bullshit was one of my biggest fears from a Cheeto Jesus victory. This makes me sick to my stomach. Have these people never BEEN to the National Parks and Monuments great presidents had the foresight to protect under federal law throughout our history? So that we may see something as untouched as it's been for many years? No president has ever rolled back anything under protection of the Antiquities Act. This is fucking absurd at this point. So the rich get richer and all of our public land starts to look like the poor districts of the Hunger Games, abused and tapped out. Doesn't the president have anything more important to do, like fix the infrastructure and bring in bigly jobs like he promised? Why is he leaving those campaign promises until last and acting on the ones that benefit his businesses first? So weird, right? Crazy. It must be a coincidence.

10. E-card of the week: Tomorrow is National Super Hero Day (really). This one's for you golden gods:

You are the true heroes of the Internet. 

Linking up with Kristin & Joey