Life According to Steph: Shit MFD Said Vol 40

Friday, April 28, 2017

I don't care if it's blurry. I love it. My Geege looks like an old man boy.

Chicken cooking

MFD: I think that smells done.

Me: It's not done.

MFD: It is.

Me: If you'd like to get salmonella you can certainly eat it.

MFD: I've had salmonella. No big deal.

Flipping through the channels at the shore and finding a COPs marathon

MFD: ahhh, the mother lode.

In the car

MFD: I thought I had nail clippers in here. Do you have any in your purse?

Me: This isn't funny.

MFD: I did think I had some in here.

MFD: Steph. Do you want to go Coachella?

Me: Why the fuck would I want to go to Coachella?

MFD: So you can wear those headbands everyone wears and take selfies.

Me: No.

Steepling his fingers at a traffic light

MFD: I think there's a conspiracy in our house.

Me: What do you mean?

MFD: I think someone is conspiring against me to hide all the nail clippers.

Me: Why are you talking to me about fucking nail clippers? Are you doing this on purpose?

MFD: They're like socks. They disappear.

Me: I don't care.

Me: Why do you rinse out the dishwasher cover and leave it in the sink so it can't dry and be used again? It makes me want to murder.

MFD: Well you know...sometimes you have to die.

After he got home from being out

Me: I shattered the pepper shaker tonight.

MFD: Was there pepper everywhere?

Me: Of course!

MFD: That's why I'm sneezing.

Me: You weren't even home and it was in the kitchen not out here.

MFD: It's in the atmosphere.

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