Life According to Steph: Shit MFD Said Vol. 35

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Shit MFD Said Vol. 35

Before leaving for Ireland
Me: Do you think we'll have to poop on the side of the road?
MFD: nodding yes several times No! Where do you think we're going, the 1600s?
Me: It's rural!
MFD: I hope you ask your dad this question.

Me: I noticed you posted all of these photos on Instagram...from the shore this summer. It's November. We just arrived in Ireland.
MFD: I had to catch up. I didn't want to post photos from this trip then go back and post the good ones from this summer.
Me: No, that means you don't post those photos. That's not how instagram works. Insta means now.
MFD: Well, I'm keeping everyone on their toes.

MFD: If I fall asleep you can watch whatever you want.
Me: Oh, can I? Thanks.
MFD: hahaha
He turns on Excalibur
Me: You should go to sleep now.

Me: Look at this hat I got. Isn't it awesome?
MFD: It means Hugo Boss.
Me: No it doesn't.
MFD: That's what it means to me.
Me: No!
MFD: I don't know why you'd want people to think you're Hugo Boss.
Me: Ruiner.
MFD: Hugo Boss.

After I've yelled at Mae for being Hazel
MFD: You are like the Svengali of dogs.
Me: I am.
MFD: You're all I'M THE BOSS HERE I'M THE BOSS in your mean voice...then we can all live here together in some nice voice. Good one.
Me: I *am* the boss...but we can all live here together.
MFD: Whatever you say.

In Marshalls
MFD: Seriously? We need two carts?
Me: Yes. Trust me.
MFD: I don't think so.
40 minutes later
Me: Stay there, I want to take a picture.
MFD: Of what?
Me: Of the man who questioned the Master of Marshalls about how many carts we needed.

Doing Christmas lights
Me: I don't understand why we're untangling them if we're just going to tangle them up.
MFD: If they're going to be tangled they're going to be tangled in an orderly fashion.
Me: laughing uproariously That's fucking insane!
MFD: You don't know Christmas like I know Christmas. There are methods to the madness.