This month marks 14 years for us as a couple, and today is our sixth wedding anniversary. We've known each other since seventh grade. There's a lot of water under this bridge.
We've gone through tremendous changes in the past three years of our marriage. All for the better, but big changes just the same. I'm proud of how we've acclimated and adapted, how we've supported each other, and how we've hung in there even when it would have been easier to not hang in there.
So often internet discussions of relationships focus on the great and sweet moments, which of course I love because who doesn't love great and sweet moments? But just like in every other area, I'm a realist when it comes to love and marriage. Some days are diamonds and some days are rocks. Both serve a purpose but one is so much prettier so we tend to focus on those glittering diamond days when things are so good it almost hurts to look at them straight on. Then you have the days where someone's an asshole, something is hard, things are boring - the rock days. Not so exciting, not pretty or special, not often mentioned.
Honestly? It's exceptionally easy to be married when everything is great, but you're going to be shit out of luck if you can only co-exist on the high road...you have to be able to survive time in the trenches together as well.
That's why I've never tried to pretend we have the perfect relationship. I'm too proud of the hard times we've come through and I wouldn't let them go for anything - they've made us just as much if not more as the diamond days have made us. Besides, perfect relationships are a) a farce b) boring as fuck to even contemplate. We are imperfect people in an imperfect relationship living an imperfect life and it's pretty damn great. To those of you out there doing the same, I see you.
Here's to another year of making dreams come true, of tenacity, of shit MFD said, of being real and true with each other, of support and encouragement and understanding, of love, and of adventure.
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| 1 - In Grand Teton National Park on September 25 last year; 2 - October 2015 after signing papers on our shore house; 3 - November 2015 PanCan walk; 4 - An oddly warm beach day in December 2015; 5 - Cape of Good Hope in South Africa in January 2016; 6 - New Orleans in February 2016; 7 - Shawn & Maggie's wedding in March 2016; 8 - Back on the beach in April 2016; 9 - Chinese Lantern Festival in May 2016; 10 - before the Paul Simon concert in June 2016; 11 - Biking on the boards in July 2016; 12 - Tubing on the Delaware August 2016; us at Lucy the Elephant in Margate earlier this monthy Happy birthday to Amanda today, one of our BFFs! |
I'm off tomorrow, so maybe TWTW tomorrow night, or maybe Tuesday. I'll surprise you.
