Life According to Steph: Shit MFD Said: Vol 31

After dinner out

MFD: You don't have any toothpicks or tooth floss do you?

Me: It's called dental floss.

MFD: Tooth floss.
Me: Dental floss!
MFD: It could be tooth floss too.

Holding up an article of clothing after a few weeks not at the shore

Me: Look, I forgot I had this here.

MFD: What is it?

Me: A bathing suit coverup. Duh.

MFD: It looks like Pancho Villa's nightie.

Before I bought him these

MFD: Do you have wet wipes?

Me: Yes.

MFD: So...do you have any nail clippers in there?

Me: Mike! No!

MFD: What? I don't know what you have in there.

Me: It's never going to be nail clippers! Ever! I've told you that every time you've asked.

MFD: I thought maybe you did your nails here.

Me: In my car? Stop.

Yelling up from downstairs as I'm trying to go to sleep

MFD: Steph!

Me: What.

MFD: Do you know what I'm watching?

Me: No.

MFD: Fart: a documentary.

Me: Did you say FART?

MFD: Yes.

Me: That's what I thought.

Later

MFD: Steph!

Me: What.

MFD: You gotta come watch this.

Me: No.

MFD: They're talking about farting in front of your spouse.

Me: I'm familiar with that. I'm going to sleep now.

Eating dinner

Me: What are you doing?

MFD: Scraping this off.

Me: Why?

Mfd: I don't like rosemary that much.

Me: There's not that much on there...this is like a toddler eating.

MFD: Says the person who can't have their food touch on their plate.

Me: Touche.

On the way home from the shore

MFD: Do you want to stop and take a picture in front of that big Alred E Newman looking thing?

Me: Should I?

MFD: I don't know. I think it's kind of cool.

Me: Do YOU want your picture taken in front of it?

MFD: Maybe.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Shit MFD Said: Vol 31