Friday, April 1, 2016

Shit MFD Said Vol 28


The Night before NewOrleans
Me: I almost got in an altercation getting your hair gel tonight, you know.
MFD: What? Why? It was the last one or something? 
Me: Yes. The lady was yelling at me in Russian so I didn't really understand but was gesturing to her hair and saying I need it and gesturing to mine like I didn't.
MFD: Did she have spiky hair?
Me: Yes.
MFD: Did you show her my picture? Like look at this guy's hair?
Me: Um...no.
MFD: You should have. 

Upon arrival in New Orleans
MFD: Where's that hair gel you got at Target? Did you bring it?
Me: No. Why would I bring your hair gel? It's in the thing where your hair gel goes. At home.
MFD: Great! Now we have to get hair gel. Do you have anything?
Me: No.
Digs through things anyway 
MFD: Do you know where my Rayban sunglasses are? 
Me: No.
MFD: Do you know where anything is?
Me: Yes. All of my things.

MFD: Guess what works? 
Me: The water thing on the fridge? How?
MFD: I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: If men told women how we fix things you would kill us off and rule the world like Amazons.
Me: That is bullshit ridiculous. I bet it just started working again. 
MFD: No. I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: I can't tell you. Then my usefulness will be extinct.

Reading The Catcher in the Rye before bed
MFD: I bet you like this part. Reads part
Me: No.
MFD: I bet you like this fart part (reads part)
Me: Yes. Farts are always funny.
MFD: I bet this is one of your favorite lines (reads lines)
Me: Actually, it is. 
MFD: I know. Because you underlined it. But I'd know anyway.

At the shore
Me: Do you know what the wifi password is?
MFD: Turdbutt?
Me: No. 
MFD: Why not? 
Me: Because renters have to use it.
MFD: So? Is it Label maker? 
Me: ...
MFD: Just thinking of things you like. 



All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27



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