The Night before NewOrleans
Me: I almost got in an
altercation getting your hair gel tonight, you know.
MFD: What? Why? It
was the last one or something?
Me: Yes. The lady was
yelling at me in Russian so I didn't really understand but was gesturing to her hair and saying I need it and
gesturing to mine like I didn't.
MFD: Did she have
spiky hair?
Me: Yes.
MFD: Did you show her
my picture? Like look at this guy's hair?
Me: Um...no.
MFD: You should have.
Upon arrival in New
Orleans
MFD: Where's that
hair gel you got at Target? Did you bring it?
Me: No. Why would I bring your hair gel? It's in the
thing where your hair gel goes. At home.
MFD: Great! Now we
have to get hair gel. Do you have anything?
Me: No.
Digs through things
anyway
MFD: Do you know
where my Rayban sunglasses are?
Me: No.
MFD: Do you know where anything is?
Me: Yes. All of my things.
MFD: Guess what
works?
Me: The water thing on the fridge? How?
MFD: I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: If men told
women how we fix things you would kill us off and rule the world like Amazons.
Me: That is bullshit
ridiculous. I bet it just started working again.
MFD: No. I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: I can't tell
you. Then my usefulness will be extinct.
Reading The Catcher in the Rye before bed
MFD: I bet you like
this part. Reads part
Me: No.
MFD: I bet you like
this fart part (reads part)
Me: Yes. Farts are always funny.
MFD: I bet this is
one of your favorite lines (reads lines)
Me: Actually, it is.
MFD: I know. Because
you underlined it. But I'd know anyway.
At the shore
Me: Do you know what
the wifi password is?
MFD: Turdbutt?
Me: No.
MFD: Why not?
Me: Because renters
have to use it.
MFD: So? Is it Label
maker?
Me: ...
MFD: Just thinking of things you like.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
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