I've been feeling a little lost the past few weeks. I can probably count on the number of times I've felt like that in the past 10 years, it's really not a mood or thing I encounter with even yearly regularity.
I have a lot of balls in the air right now but I'm not behind on anything (except emails, who's with me?), so I've been trying to figure out why I was feeling off my game. Is it just the holiday haze? Do I already have the winter blues which are like the Sunday night blues but for longer and slightly less intense? No to both of those things.
Then I got it. This year I'm going to do a lot of things that make me stretch. I'm going to stretch my comfort levels, my wallet, my need to control what's controllable, and my ability to manage and organize life and the rapidly moving pieces of it.
Some of these things are happening now and some are quickly approaching. When I'm faced with change or overwhelmed, it takes me a while to acclimate. Like driving a new car for the first time: I have to figure out where all the switches are and make sure the mirrors are in the right position for me so I don't crash and injure myself or anyone else.
This has no real purpose except to say that I usually kick off the year with guns blazing, and that I didn't this time. I want to acknowledge that and the fact that I'm okay with it. And to say if you didn't start this week off all hot to trot for the year, you're not alone. I know I'm going to kill it in 2016 and you totally are too, even if we entered it by the side door.
Well said! Being self aware is awesome, right? I love that you're able to know why you feel a certain way. You rock!
ReplyDeleteThe best part out of all of this is that you figured out what had you feeling a bit off - so now you can get excited and do all the things you want to do! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way as you are--it takes me a minute to adjust to things that are outside of my norm. I think it's great that you recognized it, and are continuing on to stretch! :)
ReplyDeleteI hear you, lady! I sometimes feel off and can't quite put my finger on why. I think it's good you've acknowledged it and are okay. The side door works just as well! :)
ReplyDeletei think everyone feels a bit of that, esp at the beginning of the new year as they try to figure out how they're going to tackle the next 365 days. i know i felt like that for a while. i also have to move beyond my need to control everything because sometimes it's too much!!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it a good feeling to be able to pinpoint what brings this feeling about? I have gotten so much better at that, being in tune with myself. Control is huge for me too, when I don't have it anxiety gets a grip, not pretty. Sometimes if you go through the side door you can get right up front a whole lot easier!
ReplyDeleteBeing pushed out of your comfort zone can be challenging sometimes, but understanding that it is okay to take your time in learning the ropes to something is very important. I'm quite similar in that I'm pretty cautious when doing something new the first time. You've got a great head on your shoulders, and I have no doubt that you will have a great year ahead!
ReplyDeleteI think that's great that you're challenging yourself this year by going out of your comfort zones. I've definitely been in a new year slump. I guess because everything is changing this year. Since my daughter will be going to school full time I NEED to get my professional life on track and figure out what the hell to do with myself. Too bad there's no magic arrow that points people in the right direction! LOL
ReplyDeleteYES. I think it's awesome that you were able to figure it out and become okay with it. I am definitely feeling off, though I can't pinpoint my personal reasons as of yet. Without trying to sound like a star-gazing fool, I do believe it has something to do with this Mercury retrograde business.
ReplyDeleteI'm usually a mess at the beginning of the year, trying to figure out where I want it all to go. It takes me a month or so to get into a groove. But you're one step ahead of me, because you know what's throwing you off (oh, and sorrynotsorry about being one of the reasons you're going out of your comfort zone but I think it's going to be awesome and fun). You have some incredible experiences ahead of you this year, too, and hopefully it'll offset the unease and discomfort you're feeling right now.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to AFRICA for crying out loud, I definitely would not expect you to be guns blazzin right now. You're going to swim in a cage with sharks. Some might even say you've lost your mind... ;) Kidding!
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting, because I actually have been feeling different than usual this new year as well, but in a way in which I feel sort of less effected by it? Like, my guns aren't blazing, but neither am I preparing or adjusting. It's more like I just feel content and OK with where I'm at and how things are rolling, and I'm cool with it.
ReplyDeleteNothing like easing into anything.. that's the smart way to do it. Less disappointment that way I think :)
ReplyDeleteTons of balls in the air. Unknowns. Exciting things! Reading my spiritual emails and websites all saying time will be moving even faster. Better things are coming. Angels and lights and love to all for the best to keep on coming. We are lucky ducks. My time today with Lola made me feel like I was holding you all over again. This time with the gift of time. I am not a working mom going in 50 different directions. I am a stay at home Mommom. Just wonder-full. Love your Momma
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have your guns blazing and that you're just momentarily fearing they're catching your hair on fire. Once you adjust that, I think they'll be loud and proud. Good on you to note the root of your offness and understand how to rein it in. I think it's healthy to do so and healthier to feel a bit existential when you have a huge life event (like owning a second home for one!). You can do it! Also, even seeing the term "sunday blues" gives me PTSD for my weekly bout of "nooooo!!!" starting at around 7Pm on Sundays.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling. On the one hand, stretching and growing and taking on new challenges is wonderful. On the other, it forces us to go beyond what we know and feel safe in. I appreciate you sharing this honest and revealing post here and giving many of us something to agree with when we just need someone to say, "Me, too." I know you're going to kill it this year too! And I can't wait to see it happen.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling well, and it's an awful one. But you got this!
ReplyDeletei totally get this, and i love the side door analogy. i'm normally all gungho about the year and whatnot, but i'm moving a bit slower this year, mainly because i know it will pick up no matter how fast i start, if that makes sense? like i'm already resting from the exhaustion that's coming. haha. i would say going to africa and swimming with sharks is out of most peoples comfort zones / levels... i know they are out of mine!
ReplyDeleteI've felt off lately too, although I do think mine might be winter blues. I can totally understand your thoughts on where yours is coming from - changing and stretching is tough no matter who you are. Still I think 2016 looks to be a pretty dang promising year, side door or not!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I've been feeling starting off 2016 and i'm not 100% sure why but I know exactly what you're talking about. I've accepted that I'm starting off with slower weeks and less posts and hopefully the guns will start blazing again and for you too!
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! Right there with you, friend! I felt a bit off during the holidays but once that calendar turned I'm hitting the ground running. I'm determined to not let office life get me down or distract me from the areas of my life I really care about!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya on the side door, for sure. No bang for me either but I was kinda sick so I was sorta distracted. But I have goals :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you with your upcoming 2016!!
Oh how I know this feeling, you've got this gurlie! You have a super exciting 2016 on the horizon ;-)
ReplyDeleteLove this post so much. I didn't quite know how to articulate my feelings right now and you nailed it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary Jane! We'll get through it.
DeleteTo be honest, I totally get how you are feeling right now. I sort of feel like that too. I know I need to make some changes this year and step out of my comfort zone to grow and I think that is why I am feeling off. Here's to a wonderfully awesome 2016!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to figure out what was making you feel this way... not knowing why we feel the way we do sometimes makes everything worse. And hey - it's still super early in the year so I say you aren't giving yourself enough credit! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. 2016 will be my first year without my mom in it. Frankly, I don't ever want there to be a year without her being part of it, but here it is. I guess I have to put on my big girl pants and move onward. You will too. <3
ReplyDeleteKicking off January 2nd with guns blazing usually leads to burnout by February. Sometimes it's better to slow down and digest things.
ReplyDeleteIt's like you know that there's a bend in the river coming but you're not sure when or what's on the other side. I'm a work in progress trying to understand how best to handle it. I think half the battle is knowing when you are feeling a little off and being able to recognize it. You have lots of exciting things happening and you will have the best year!
ReplyDeleteI am feeling the same way. I am so overwhelmed and other than working out unmotivated. Hoping to kick it soon, and that you do too.
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel like this. Some people face it, others dismiss it. I think you're doing it the right way.
ReplyDeleteAh! My sentiments exactly! I've been trying to figure out my funk, but it was right there all the time! Happy 2016!
ReplyDeleteA beautifully human response to exactly how I'm feeling about 2016... although I'm not sure about all the stretching. I plan to do my stretching through you. ;) The only thing I know is that I need to get past my IDGAF blues and stop being content if I get one thing accomplished a day. Granted, most of the time they are big one things... but still. Productivity needs to pick up over here. (That side door thing is real.)
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