January means mile long to do lists and visions of glory for the year. Here are some things I don't think you have to do. Just my opinion, but maybe it will take a load off of someone who needs a load taken off.
You don't have to...
2. Like everyone. Not everyone likes you. You don't have to like everyone else and you don't have to have a reason why you don't. Sometimes we just don't click with people. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with them, or with us. We just don't fit well together and that's okay.
3. Put more emphasis on your weaknesses than on your strengths. It's okay to know what you're good at and to share it with others. You won't get any awards for making yourself seem small. Don't dull your shine.
4. See things in black and white. Grey areas exist. It's okay to walk through them and feel comfortable in them.
5. Wear heels. Treat your feet. Give them the day off.
7. React. When someone pisses you off, you can find great satisfaction and power in not responding. We can't control what happens to us in life or what other people do to and around us, but we can choose our reactions.
8. Set the world on fire every day. If you're happy in your life and work, it's okay to stay in that space a while and enjoy it before you start looking for what's next.
9. Explain yourself. Your life. Your priorities. Your choices. To everyone else: none'ya business.
10. Read non-fiction. Wait, that one is just for me.
What's on your don't have to do it list?
haha for me, I tell myself it's okay to read non-fiction instead of fiction.
ReplyDeleteBut this is all stuff we need to internalize. Good list.
Working on #7 right now! There's a recurring situation and on the one hand, I want to speak up for myself and start a riot and respond aggressively each time I'm provoked...but on the other hand, it doesn't seem to be doing any good. So I'm trying to ignore the situation...thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteI work in workforce development and from a professional development stand-point it is so counter-productive to work on improving your "weaknesses" rather than learning to focus more on your strengths and positives. I'm not saying that you can't make improvements, but sometimes there are simply personality traits that cannot be changed or fixed, and you instead just have to learn how to deal with them in certain situations. Great post, Steph!
ReplyDeleteI totally don't like everyone and do not expect everyone to like me. I'm so cool with that but I know so many people who just need everyone to like them and I don't get it at all. Totally working on #9, I learning that I only need to answer to myself.
ReplyDeleteStop the madness . . . this post was awesome! I love each and every one of these! What a great reminder to all of us that we are enough . . . and it's okay to just be yourself!
ReplyDeleteYes. This. Number 1...I am so good at this it's not even funny and it pisses people off. I have zero problem saying No to an invitation anymore and when people ask me why I say "because I don't want to go". They get flabbergasted and try to tell me that that is not a reason. It is for me!!!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Say no....you don't have to like everyone, or react to the crazies! I agree with all of these that you wrote about!!
ReplyDeleteI just gave you an AMEN on the heels!
ReplyDeleteThe read non-fiction made me chuckle. I have bought so many best selling non-fiction novels which sit on my bookshelf. When I have parties people are like "have you read all of those", I'm like ummmmmmm. I'm learning to stop buying them because I know its like "fetch"-- its not going to happen.
ReplyDeletegive fucks...i don't have to give fucks.
ReplyDeleteGood one. I am the opposite - I only read non-fiction ! Also, the smaller my circle, the easier life seems.
ReplyDeleteBeyond happy you had a magical trip and are back home safe and sound.
Love. Your. Momma.
YES! I'm learning to be more of a 'no' person. Not in a bad way; and I think if you always say no eventually people will stop asking you to do things which is sad. But there have been times in the past where I've 'forced' myself to do every single thing I was invited to, regardless of how I felt about it. In the same vein, the older I get the less I 'explain' myself. I don't need to apologize or explain the things I do as long as I'm OK with them. Great list! Love this.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic post! #2 has been the hardest for me recently, moving to a new place, and trying to make friends with everyone I meet... it's hard and not worth it sometimes. I also love the heels one... I'm only 5 feet tall, so I know I should, but I only do like once a month. My feet are so thankful!
ReplyDeleteThese are great! I would say "You don't have to make things from scratch"--during the blizzard, I may those pull-apart chocolate chip cookies which took a lot less effort and were still delicious!
ReplyDeletei was nodding along and going to tell you exactly which ones i agreed with but then basically #10 won it all. seriously. i hate non fiction! unless it's like a memoir (but not often) or an organising / self help somehow book (even less often), i steer clear. no desire.
ReplyDeletebut also, 2, 3 and 8 resonated the most with me. it took me a long time to learn those things!
You have a good point and i think a lot of people struggle with these including myself.
ReplyDeleteI'll gladly take the reading non-fiction off my list too! After this last reading challenge where we had to read a nonfiction book, I was reminded why I don't like it that much! And yes, to treating your feet well by not wearing heels all the time! I used to wear them all the time, and my feet (and knees) are so much happier now that I mostly wear flats!
ReplyDeleteI laughed at the non fiction thing. But you are so right!!! Why try to fit in a bunch of stuff that you dont like or stresses you out?!
ReplyDeleteI'm working really hard at #7 i think a lot of people say things just to see how you'll react. and when the don't get the reaction they're looking for it angers them. Well good.
ReplyDeleteI like nonfiction. So that can stay on my list.
ReplyDeleteI can take off what's complementary to your #2--care if people like me. Either you do or you don't. I know I'm not for everyone and I can't waste time or energy trying to make all the people like me.
YES I am totally with you on the not wearing heels thing. Can't wait to hear all about your trip!
ReplyDeleteNot too long ago, #2 came in to play in my world. A female friend of my husband's (that pre-existed me) is just not my kind of girl. I don't care if he's friends with her. I've tried many social activities that included her. Finally, I just had to say "I don't like her, and don't be a man and assume I'm jealous. Yes, she's pretty. But it's not that. I just don't like her. You go ahead and be friends with her, but I don't have to be anymore, right?"
ReplyDeleteI read non-fiction. In fact, im reading one now. (Beautiful Boy by David Sheff)
Agree with wearing heels! Sometimes I'll wear them to work and immediately switch into slippers, lol... why do I even bother in the first place?? lol
ReplyDeletePlay others' games. Be passive aggressive when you're mad/frustrated/upset/hurt. Allow others to mistreat you. You can walk away... both literally and figuratively. :-P
ReplyDeleteI totally have to be aware to say no more. I always feel guilty but I've been better about it. Yes to reactions. I was in the store the other day and someone way flipping out because the store didn't have chicken. Really? Priorities.
ReplyDelete