Me: Mike! You're going to be outside. Your part of the decorating is outside.
MFD: I need to get prepared.
Me: For what?
MFD: Well Steph, for you Christmas is visual. For me it's auditory. I need to get in the mood with my music.
MFD: I wonder if I'll ever find my wedding ring.
Me: Do you know how many times I've heard that?
MFD: Well sometimes it's gone a long time.
Me: And?
MFD: Well. I'm just saying. It's been a long time this time.
Holding up a bowl next to the sink with sugar in the bottom
Me: What is this?
Me: What is this?
MFD: My Christmas sugar gum drops bowl.
Me: Why isn't the container it came in your Christmas sugar gum drops bowl?
MFD: Why do you care?
Me: If you would've put this bowl in the dishwasher, we would not be having this conversation.
MFD: Regrets. I've had a few.
Me: Why isn't the container it came in your Christmas sugar gum drops bowl?
MFD: Why do you care?
Me: If you would've put this bowl in the dishwasher, we would not be having this conversation.
MFD: Regrets. I've had a few.
Watching Mum TV (it's a Philly Thing) every day
MFD: Steph, don't you wish you were in this band? Dancing?
MFD: Steph, don't you wish you were in this band? Dancing?
Me: No.
MFD: Why not?
Repeat
While reading this
MFD: We don't watch Mum TV every day.
Me: A lot of days, okay?
When I realize Dune is on
Me: You know, Mike, we went to see Star Wars tonight which is fine. I like Star Wars. But this is like The Dork Awakens.
MFD: You don't have to watch this. You can go upstairs.
MFD: Dolly, do you want to go to the Mummer's Parade?
Me: No.
MFD: It would be awesome if we lived downtown and they could go.
Me: No. I would never take them no matter where we lived.
MFD: They would love it. They tell me they want to go every year.
Me: They would hate it. The music, the loud noises, all the people.
MFD: Gus wouldn't mind the noise.
Me: Gus is deaf.
Sunday night just before six
Me: Are you getting a shower?
MFD: Of course.
Me: Can you give Mae a bath?
MFD: I have to be in and out in like five seconds.
Me: Oh. Where are you going?
MFD: I have to marry someone.
Me: Of course.
MFD: Dolly, do you want to go to the Mummer's Parade?
Me: No.
MFD: It would be awesome if we lived downtown and they could go.
Me: No. I would never take them no matter where we lived.
MFD: They would love it. They tell me they want to go every year.
Me: They would hate it. The music, the loud noises, all the people.
MFD: Gus wouldn't mind the noise.
Me: Gus is deaf.
Sunday night just before six
Me: Are you getting a shower?
MFD: Of course.
Me: Can you give Mae a bath?
MFD: I have to be in and out in like five seconds.
Me: Oh. Where are you going?
MFD: I have to marry someone.
Me: Of course.
Happy Festivus!
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1, Shit MFD Said Vol 2, Shit MFD Said Vol 3, Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5, Shit MFD Said Vol 6, Shit MFD Said Vol 7, Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9, Shit MFD Said Vol 10, Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24,
