Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Shit MFD Said Vol. 25: Christmas Eve Eve Special

As he goes to turn the bluetooth speaker on before heading out to decorate
Me: Mike! You're going to be outside. Your part of the decorating is outside.
MFD: I need to get prepared.
Me: For what?
MFD: Well Steph, for you Christmas is visual. For me it's auditory. I need to get in the mood with my music.

MFD: I wonder if I'll ever find my wedding ring. 
Me: Do you know how many times I've heard that?
MFD: Well sometimes it's gone a long time.
Me: And?
MFD: Well. I'm just saying. It's been a long time this time.

Holding up a bowl next to the sink with sugar in the bottom
Me: What is this? 
MFD: My Christmas sugar gum drops bowl.
Me: Why isn't the container it came in your Christmas sugar gum drops bowl?
MFD: Why do you care?
Me: If you would've put this bowl in the dishwasher, we would not be having this conversation.
MFD: Regrets. I've had a few. 

Watching Mum TV (it's a Philly Thing) every day
MFD: Steph, don't you wish you were in this band? Dancing?
Me: No. 
MFD: Why not? 
Repeat 

While reading this 
MFD: We don't watch Mum TV every day.
Me: A lot of days, okay? 

When I realize Dune is on
Me: You know, Mike, we went to see Star Wars tonight which is fine. I like Star Wars. But this is like The Dork Awakens.
MFD: You don't have to watch this. You can go upstairs.

MFD: Dolly, do you want to go to the Mummer's Parade?
Me: No.
MFD: It would be awesome if we lived downtown and they could go.
Me: No. I would never take them no matter where we lived.
MFD: They would love it. They tell me they want to go every year.
Me: They would hate it. The music, the loud noises, all the people.
MFD: Gus wouldn't mind the noise.
Me: Gus is deaf.

Sunday night just before six
Me: Are you getting a shower?
MFD: Of course.
Me: Can you give Mae a bath?
MFD: I have to be in and out in like five seconds.
Me: Oh. Where are you going?
MFD: I have to marry someone.
Me: Of course. 

Happy Festivus! 
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26 comments:

  1. Erin of TexErin-in-SydneyLandDecember 23, 2015 at 12:47 AM

    What is Mom TV? Wait. Maybe I don't need to know. But, now I want to know. I could google, but you know, it's more fun to ask. Merry Christmas!

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  2. BLovedBostonDecember 23, 2015 at 6:57 AM

    We have very similar conversations about tv shows...but its usually me saying you can go to the other room and watch something else!!! Have a Merry Christmas!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  3. P!nkyDecember 23, 2015 at 8:41 AM

    I love reading these posts. Men come up with some real zingers.

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  4. Rebecca JoDecember 23, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    "Regrets. I have a few" - I choked laughing on that one!

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  5. sara [at] journey of doingDecember 23, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    Get in the auditory mood, MFD!! LOL... Gus wouldn't mind. Gus is deaf. Regrets, I have a few. Best ever.

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  6. Amy @The Crazy Wise WomanDecember 23, 2015 at 9:18 AM

    I get the music thing, that is something I would do too, have it on inside the house while I'm putting up outside lights lol. Merry Christmas Steph!

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  7. Linda SheridanDecember 23, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    Keep them coming. Keep each other laughing.
    Love. Your. Momma.

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  8. Kristen @ See You In A PorridgeDecember 23, 2015 at 10:07 AM

    hahaha @ getting in the auditory mood. hilarious! i'm quite curious to what mum tv is.

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  9. StephanieDecember 23, 2015 at 10:13 AM

    hahaha Gus can go to the parade.
    The dishwasher battle is never ending. It's literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE SINK in my kitchen. Why won't John put the cups IN the dishwasher? WHY? It's never full, I always clean it and empty it so fast. Is this a guy thing?

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  10. AnonymousDecember 23, 2015 at 10:34 AM

    My friend moved to Manayunk last year and went to the NYD parade and I'm pretty sure that's the first I ever heard about this Mummer business and I decided in the same moment that no thanks, friend, I don't need to go there for the parade. Thanks for being a Philadelphian who justifies that decision for me.

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  11. UnknownDecember 23, 2015 at 10:58 AM

    Did he ever find his wedding ring?? The one about Dune is pretty familiar here. Sometimes I'll just read a book while he's watching something incredibly boring. Other times I take off upstairs. I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas! Enjoy!

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  12. The Girl who Loved to WriteDecember 23, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    "You can go upstairs." Hahaha these always make me laugh so much.

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  13. Emily @ Martinis | BikinisDecember 23, 2015 at 11:18 AM

    Too funny! "Regrets. I have a few" is an awesome line and the conversation about the parade. Of course Gus would have fun. lol

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  14. Heather LockhartDecember 23, 2015 at 11:51 AM

    "For me it's auditory." LOL at that one.

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  15. Tiffany December 23, 2015 at 12:00 PM

    Listen, my dad SOMEHOW incorporates music into his outdoor decorating. I don't know how the neighbors haven't physically harmed him yet. It plays EVERY NIGHT. Not that I'm suggesting MFD do that...or am I...

    I haven't had to watch Dune yet. Don't tell Justin. Please.

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  16. KristinDecember 23, 2015 at 12:09 PM

    I love the festivus celebration and the airing of grievances.

    You need to buy him a stack of cheap silicone wedding bands.

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  17. Ashley LillisDecember 23, 2015 at 12:55 PM

    So funny! I think that it's fun that he incorporated music into your outdoor decorations. I also like how men never seem to be able to find things, and then when you start looking for it with them, the thing they're looking for magically appears! Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

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  18. Erin LFFDecember 23, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    So many good ones in this Christmas Eve Eve edition!!! Gus- you can go enjoy that parade!! ;)

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  19. Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalkyDecember 23, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    LOL my fav-- "regrets. i've had a few". i love that you guys make each other laugh!

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  20. NadineDecember 23, 2015 at 2:45 PM

    Chris has to get in the mood for things with music as well. And I had to laugh so hard at regrets, I've had a few. Why do they have to dirty unnecessary dishes?!?! Merry Christmas!

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  21. Three of CupsDecember 23, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    The holiday for the rest of us!

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  22. Kate at Green FashionistaDecember 23, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    It's a Festivus miracle! Regrets... I've had a few - hilarious! I may have to steal that one ;-)

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  23. BrianneDecember 23, 2015 at 6:09 PM

    The regrets one killed me haha.

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  24. Brie LatiniDecember 24, 2015 at 11:04 AM

    Bwhahahahaha! Love these!

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  25. Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMeeDecember 28, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    "MFD: Why do you care?" Bahahaha... this whole conversation sounded like something that would go down between Pete and I. lololol

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  26. Kerry @ Till Then Smile OftenJanuary 5, 2016 at 9:59 PM

    OMG Regrets. I've had a few. Hilarious! Poor Gus!

    ReplyDelete

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