Happiest of birthday eves to one of my BFFs Amanda. She so kindly agreed to share 10 things she wants her daughter Eva the Diva to know. I love both of these ladies and I love this list.
1. There is no purpose or advantage to being a mean girl. Ganging up on or putting other women down does not make you look powerful. It does not build you up in anyway. It does the opposite.
2. A relationship that is constantly making up and breaking up is a cycle that will never end, never improve, and is likely borderline emotional abuse. The drama can become addicting but it will not end the way you want it to. You are not Carrie Bradshaw and he is not Mr. Big.
3. If you ever find yourself in a situation and think, what if no one believes me - your dad and I will always believe you.
4. Surround yourself with friends who have your best interest at heart especially in your weakest, most vulnerable times.
5. I'm your mom, not your friend. We can't be friends until you are a grown woman.
6. The purpose of your 20s is find yourself, make mistakes, and have fun. If you happen to find the person you want to marry in that decade, great. But that should not be your sole purpose in life.
The end of your 20s is not a deadline to find a partner. I met your father one month before I turned 30...after spending my 20s feeling like I needed to be married by 30 (for some reason). It happens when it's supposed to.
7. Have a way to take of yourself. Never be in a position where you have to completely rely on another person. Marriages can end and spouses can die...sad but true.
8. Don't be afraid of confrontations and if someone confronts you don't be intimidated by it.
9. Keep a journal in middle school and high school, it will be a great read for you one day.
10. The hardest thing to overcome is a bad reputation.
What knowledge do you think is important for mothers to impart to their daughters?
Linking up with Kristin and Joey for Stuff & Things
ALL of this. I hope she writes this and frames it for her daughter to keep forever.
ReplyDelete#2 smacked me upside the head. I was in an on again-off again for almost 10 years. I wanted him to love me SO bad.
YES TO ALL OF THESE THINGS!!!! the most important thing in life is to never give up. You won't always get what you want on the first try - be that cheerleader, class president, a college, a dream job.... Never quit trying for the things you want. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from those "failures".
ReplyDeleteI love this, Amanda!!! Great idea for a blog. So many things have changed since I grew up. I love that my Stephanie has a college degree and is a strong, brilliant, independent woman. Continued Goddess speed to all of us.
ReplyDeleteLove, the MOMMA
Yes to 7! This is one of the things my mom taught us from the time we were young.
ReplyDeleteI also want my daughter to know it's okay that she doesn't like princesses, barbies, and stereo typical girl things. It's much cooler just to be who you are than to pretend to be like everyone else.
So many great lessons! Especially about not relying on anyone, remembering that overcoming a bad reputation is one of the hardest things in life, and that mom & dad will ALWAYS believe you when no one else does.
ReplyDeleteYes to all of this but especially being independent. It is important for be able to provide for yourself and if someone comes along it is a bonus not a crutch. Bad reputations almost never go away. Great advice.
ReplyDeleteLove this list and i can see why you two are friends! Two smart ladies. Number 1 is the best and so true. And yes, 30 is not a deadline!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is soooo good! I am sharing with my daughters! Number 7.... I completely fucked that up. Hard lessons! And I love the SATC reference... lol I still want to be Carrie and Mr. Big though:)
ReplyDeleteI love these! Great advice to raise a little girl with.
ReplyDeleteThis is great advice!!! I especially loved "If you ever find yourself in a situation and think, what if no one believes me - your dad and I will always believe you" because that is so true!!!!
ReplyDeleteOne of the biggest lessons my mom taught me is the #10 tip: a woman's reputation is everything. I have always remembered that. #9 is great too. I read an old journal a year or so ago and I was so embarrassed at some of the things I wrote (hello, tip #2!). It was interesting to see how much I have grown as a person since my early 20s.
ReplyDeleteTHIS. All of this.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I work hard to instill in my daughter is to never apologize for who you are. Like what you like, embrace your quirks and differences, and there's nothing wrong with being smart. Don't change any of that for anyone. And #1. Especially #1.
love this. especially #6. it's so sad to me to see so many young girls putting so much stock in trying to find a husband to take care of them instead of trying to find themselves and let the right man find them in the process.
ReplyDeleteThe most practical thing my mom taught me is never pass up an opportunity to pee. I inherited her tiny bladder so it's solid advice. And around the time they did more Star Wars movies 'Just because he's cute like Hayden Christianson doesn't mean he's not secretly Darth Vader". Oh and always pee after sex! And that you need to learn to be happy on your own. And that it's better to be overdressed than underdressed. And that the cookies bake a little more when you take them out of the oven so account for that and don't overcook them....
ReplyDeleteI love ALL of these. Eva is a lucky little girl to have such a loving and SMART mother! :)
ReplyDeleteI really love this post. If/when I have a child (and assuming it's a girl), these are exactly the types of things I would want her to know.
ReplyDelete