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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I'm going through a phase.

It's here. It's the unwelcome guest that darkens my doorstep every summer: the fuck it phase (FIP). Fuck the housework, the laundry, the schedules, the exercise, the healthy eating, the matching clothes, the organizing, the food prep, the responsibilities, the blog schedule...fuck it all. Let the go with the flow laziness reign free.

The FIP is punctuated by weekends away, languid conversations next to large bodies of water, clothing that's almost beyond casual, sweating bottles of beer, careening through the dark night in the Pinelands and the Vinelands with the windows down and the music loud, casually discarded flip flops, sunglasses at night, and lightening bugs. It feels a little lazy, a little reckless, a little not quite on the level.

For these few weeks of the FIP, I am adrift at sea without a planner. I say yes without thinking. I go away for the weekend without making a plan or a packing list. I go three days without eating veggies. I skip the third weight workout of the week. I take naps. I leave my phone in hotel rooms and don't go back to get it. I stay out late on a Sunday night drinking beers and listening to live music, still in my bathing suit when we finally arrive home at 2:45 in the morning. I forget to download pics from my camera. I don't fully unpack from my trips. I don't edit myself when I over-write. I don't know what time it is. I let shit pile up in the basement room and don't put it where it belongs. I don't meal plan. I throw my hands in the air and wave 'em like I just don't care. I  lay it all down and leave it there, shaking off the shackles of a responsible life.

Basically, I engage in or allow all manner of things I hate. It's like I have a doppelganger who runs on opposite juice. I'm arguably a lot less uptight and Type A these few weeks than I am normally, which I'm sure people around me like. I fight to keep summer and its ways out, but once it seeps in I try to embrace it. Summer is fleeting, after all. I can't take it for long, but it is a little fun while it lasts. I'll snap out of this soon, but not this week...because, fuck it. So when you see a TWTW post about last weekend this Friday before another weekend is about to begin, just act cool and go with it. Like you saw a rare and magical unicorn or something, because you basically did.

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Haikuesday
The haiku: not safe.
I'm like fuck it, don't wanna.
Yawning as we speak. 
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