1. Reading. I'd rather read a book than do almost anything else.
2. Travelling. The majority of my mad money goes into a travel fund. This desire to go and see and do is a huge part of who I am. I'm glad to have a partner who feels the same.
3. Not giving a fuck. Does this require further explanation? If so, it can sort of be summed up by saying/doing/feeling/thinking what I want and not feeling guilt about not doing something the world wants or expects from me, or doing something the world frowns upon. It feels like freedom and tastes like pink starburst.
4. Sunglasses. I'm pretty sure I wear them more than I don't. Nothing can ruin my day faster than no access to sunglasses.
5. Functioning within a routine. I like knowing what's coming.
6. Convenience - Exhibit A - Amazon Prime. If I own it or use it, there's an 88% chance it was ordered on Amazon and I got it within two days and more and more on the same day or by the next day. Exhibit B - Grocery delivery. I don't know why I resisted this for so long, as if I was a champion grocery picker and no one could do it as good as I could. Spoiler: they can and they do.
7. Coffee and the mugs it lives in. I love love love it. If you follow me on Instagram, you know it's true.
8. Laughing. It's my favorite. I'm quick to laugh at things, even things that I maybe shouldn't laugh at. Laughing makes me feel awesome. And it's free.
9. Being beside the sea. I feel like my best self near the ocean.
10. The obvious. How to choose the last? By listing things I've stated my love for many times, of course. Is this cheating, to bang off much-discussed loves in the final entry? I don't care. I make the rules here. So: Lists. Dirty Dancing. Sunrises. Bruce Springsteen. Cooking. Quotes. Nail polish. Organizing. Trying new restaurants. Fresh sheets. The Breakfast Club. Beverly Hills 90210.
1. Poor grammar. I can get down with slang terms and sentence structure gone awry in conversational writing. Go ahead and end your sentences with a preposition, I don't mind. I'm not grammatically perfect but I try. I think it's the not caring or the hurry to get stuff across that kills me. Take your time! Think about which word to use: their/they're/there. it's/its and to/two/too. Can I also use this time to bring this up? It's used to and supposed to, not use to and suppose to. Don't even get me started on the misuse of apostrophes. We'll be here all day and into the next.
2. Dog hair. I've learned to live with it. I do not love it. Not even a little bit.
3. Waiting. For anything, anywhere. In lines, for something to arrive, for an answer, for Godot, for something to finish cooking or drying or whatever, for vacation to get here, for a show to return, for a book to come in at the library. I hate waiting and am the worst waiter in the history of waiting.
4. Whining. Stop. No one curr.
5. Multi-media. If you want to see me absolutely lose my shit, play a video on your phone when I can hear the TV or radio. Multimedia turns me into Hulk Smash. One noise producing thing at a time. Ask MFD how often I freak out about this. Then ask why he still plays videos when something else is on knowing certain death awaits.
6. Chipped nails. When my nails are chipped in a trashy sort of way, I feel terrible about myself.
7. Counting other people's money and how they spend it. Unless someone's hitting you up for money, constantly complaining to you about money, or owes you money, it's not your business. We all spend differently. Don't worry about it. And don't have ideas about what people should and shouldn't pay for if they make more than you. It's gross and ill-mannered.
8. Entitlement. It's a cancerous thought process. You are not entitled to anything you didn't work for and you don't deserve things or special treatment just because of who you are. Get over yourself.
9. Small talk. I'm not good at it.
10. Being patronized. Just don't. Or I'll hand you your ass on a platter in return.
Lay your loves and don't loves on me like Brett Michaels lays product on his luscious locks.
