Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Good for you. I mean it.

Are you on an awesome vacation? Did you just get a new car? Have you gone up the career ladder? Are you purchasing a second home? Has an amazing opportunity come your way? Have you been working hard on your health and fitness? Did you overcome an obstacle? Have you improved your skills in one of your hobbies? Did you finally purchase something insanely expensive you've been saving for? Have you found love? Did you strive towards a personal goal and meet it? Did something finally click for you?

Good for you. I mean it.

There are a lot of people who seem supportive of others...until people reach a level that surpasses them. Some people can't stand to have someone that's not them excel. It sets their hearts on fire with insecurity and jealousy. They suddenly have things to say or do to subtly (or not so subtly) lessen someone's achievements, to make them question themselves or make them feel oddly guilty or wrong for being successful. You know these people - the ones who are always out there knocking people down a few pegs like it's their job. Talking out of the other side of their mouths to remind you that that successful person is not perfect. No shit, Sherlock. None of us are.

I'm not one of those people. I have many faults but this is not one of them. I'm straight up and real with people, but I don't want anyone around me to fail or feel shitty about themselves. I really love watching other people shine. I don't see the point in not hoping everyone can be the best person they can be, to have all the things they dream of in their heart of hearts. Making other people feel small doesn't make me feel better about myself, it makes me feel like an asshole. If you've surpassed me in an area of life, I don't need to bring you back down to my level to remind you that you're not as good as you think you are. What is the point of that? There are enough people out there who will rain on your parade and look for the one bad thing among all the good things to criticize. I'd rather be the one saying you go girl! I do my best to come from a place of encouragement. In writing this, I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm looking to recruit you to join me in the encourager ranks if you're not already there.
I don't even care if someone's success seems sudden or easy, because I know from personal experience that no success is sudden or easy. I don't know how much a success means to someone so there's no way I'm going to act like I know if they deserve it or not. I don't know how hard you work because I'm not you. I do know that every person's story has mistakes and missteps whether I've seen them or not.

Every one of us has found ourselves in a long, dark tunnel that feels like we'll never again emerge into the light of day. We don't usually publish the struggles and if we do we don't always say how much those struggles have cut us to the bone. Struggles live in shadowy recesses inside of us and have doors only those in our closest circle can enter to bear witness to our pain, shame, and strife. I don't need to see what you've been through to appreciate that you're now on the top of whatever mountain you've been climbing. I don't want to kick you back down a few hundred yards so you can satisfy some measurement of hard work or success that lives inside of my head. I want to be the hand that reaches down and pulls you up if you've run out of gas at the end.

I don't want you to downplay your successes for my sake or anyone else's. It's not right to dull your shine. If good things are happening to you and for you, enjoy them. Don't worry about what people say or who thinks you deserve it. Wasting time worrying about that kind of stuff distracts you from moving forward and continuing on your journey. You don't have time for it.
So keep going. Reach higher. Go out and get what you want. Be happy and proud. Don't listen to the voices that try to take the wind out of your sails, and when you do hear them, know that there are others like me out there cheering you on. There's no limit to the amount of people that can be happy and successful. I'm not interested in competing. I hope we all make it. I hope you hope that too.
A very happy birthday to my good friend and fellow encourager Gena down in Alabama.

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