MFD: I just cut my eyelashes.
Me: You did what?
MFD: They bump into these glasses.
Me: Come again? Who cuts their eyelashes?
MFD: Well I tried curling them once but that didn't work.
Me: You curled them? Uncontrollable laughter
MFD: It's only one side.
October 22
MFD: Where is all the Halloween candy?
Me: I can't say.
MFD: I'll find it.
Me: I can't believe you think you're going to find it. You can't find anything!
Via text - on October 22
Me: I need to buy tickets for Dirty Dancing at the Academy of Music for my birthday. This is my birthday gift from you. Okay?
MFD: LOL Ok. Am I going with you?
Me: Yes. Sorry you have to. Tuesday, March 24.
MFD: No that's cool I want to! I wanna see who plays the Schumachers.
Me: OMG.
Via text - on October 22
Me: I need to buy tickets for Dirty Dancing at the Academy of Music for my birthday. This is my birthday gift from you. Okay?
MFD: LOL Ok. Am I going with you?
Me: Yes. Sorry you have to. Tuesday, March 24.
MFD: No that's cool I want to! I wanna see who plays the Schumachers.
Me: OMG.
During dinner
MFD: Steph if the glove don't fit, you must acquit. Did you know that?
Me: Mmm.
On Halloween
Me: Do you want some pumpkin ice cream?
MFD: Yes, preferably in a bowl.
Me: What else would it be in?
MFD: Some tiny fancy glass. see pic----->
MFD: What is this?
Me: What? Yours is in a bowl.
MFD: Am I on a diet or something?
Thermostat Wars
Me: Do you think I should turn the heat on? It's not that bad.
MFD: You are having people over. You want them to be comfortable.
Me: I'm comfortable.
MFD: It's November 2. You are wearing an outdoor vest inside. You are ridiculous.
Me: Do you want to go watch the sunrise with me Saturday morning like I mentioned?
MFD: I wanted to talk to you about that. Let's do that.
Me: Ok.
MFD: We have to go early.
Me: I mean...the sunrise is early.
MFD: Right. That's what I said.
11:42 pm
Me: Are you listening to Taylor Swift?
MFD: I love this song. It's that video with the aerobics song. I can't stop watching it.
After midnight, sleep mask on...I hear wrappers unwrapping.
Me: What are you doing?
MFD: Garbled response
Me: I hear you chewing. It's after midnight!
MFD: so? I'm not a mogwai.
Me: A what?
MFD: Mogwai can't eat after midnight.
Me: I don't know what that is.
MFD: You've never seen Gremlins?
Me: I have.
MFD: That's a mogwai.
Me: No, that's a Gremlin.
MFD: No. When a Mogwai gets wet they multiply. They're littlle stinkers. Gremlins are what they become when they eat after midnight after they pupate.
Me: I didn't know I was living with a Gremlin expert.
MFD: You are.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1, Shit MFD Said Vol 2, Shit MFD Said Vol 3, Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5, Shit MFD Said Vol 6, Shit MFD Said Vol 7, Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9, Shit MFD Said Vol 10, Shit MFD Said Vol 11
Me: Do you want to go watch the sunrise with me Saturday morning like I mentioned?
MFD: I wanted to talk to you about that. Let's do that.
Me: Ok.
MFD: We have to go early.
Me: I mean...the sunrise is early.
MFD: Right. That's what I said.
11:42 pm
Me: Are you listening to Taylor Swift?
MFD: I love this song. It's that video with the aerobics song. I can't stop watching it.
After midnight, sleep mask on...I hear wrappers unwrapping.
Me: What are you doing?
MFD: Garbled response
Me: I hear you chewing. It's after midnight!
MFD: so? I'm not a mogwai.
Me: A what?
MFD: Mogwai can't eat after midnight.
Me: I don't know what that is.
MFD: You've never seen Gremlins?
Me: I have.
MFD: That's a mogwai.
Me: No, that's a Gremlin.
MFD: No. When a Mogwai gets wet they multiply. They're littlle stinkers. Gremlins are what they become when they eat after midnight after they pupate.
Me: I didn't know I was living with a Gremlin expert.
MFD: You are.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1, Shit MFD Said Vol 2, Shit MFD Said Vol 3, Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5, Shit MFD Said Vol 6, Shit MFD Said Vol 7, Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9, Shit MFD Said Vol 10, Shit MFD Said Vol 11
This sounds like the same conversations hubby and I have lol
ReplyDeleteLmao....Can't even imagine the danger that comes with cutting your eyelashes.
ReplyDeleteI stand (read: sit) here before you and can honestly say Cory has has his eyelashes cut. It's a real thing! They get so long that he can't see! I wish I had long luscious lashes like his...
ReplyDeleteI love them all!! The gremlins expert though, seriously made me chuckle. I say next time just bring the pint with the spoon. Haha! Pretty impressed he admitted listening to tswift.
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop laughing at the Mogwai/Gremlin conversation.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all that picture.....best way to start my morning. Second the Gremlin conversation hilarious! The aerobic video ;-) That damn song is so addicting right?
ReplyDeleteWe pay so much money for mascara, and he cuts his eyelashes?!?!?! Not fair. Also, the thing about who is playing the Schumachers. Genius. I would love to just sit back in silence and watch the two of you at dinner time.
ReplyDeletean outdoor vest inside. yes! that is my life. we never turn the heat on. hahaa Taylor Swift. These are all so good.
ReplyDeleteThe thermostat wars! Usually you hear of the husband being the one trying to hold out, but you're like me when I lived up north. I will bundle up before I turn on the heat, it takes me forever to admit defeat.
ReplyDeleteOMG mogwai. outdoor vest inside (i do this all the time). the fact that he knows the Schumachers. this post wins the internet!
ReplyDeleteThe gremlins convo. I'm dying. BAHAHHAHAAHAHA.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog but I especially look forward to "Shit MFD Said." Without fail, I always end up laughing out loud. Great Post!
ReplyDeleteI gotta share the laughs Gladys! Glad you enjoy these. Thanks for reading!
DeleteHahahaha. Sounds like the conversations I have with K. Now I feel the need to watch Gremlins. Haven't seen it in forever. Tell MFD thanks!
ReplyDeleteThe gremlin convo is my favorite this time around. The sunrise one is a close second.
ReplyDeleteI love the Shit MFD said posts. They are hilarious. And he cut his eyelashes? What?
ReplyDeleteLMAO! That's for the laugh this morning!! These convos are so funny!
ReplyDeleteOMG the Gremlin one!! And that video with Shake it off...I just...oh my gosh.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! Husbands really have some gems. I love the one about going to see Dirty Dancing, I seriously laughed out loud to that. It's even more hysterical that he remembers the characters names! I give him major props for going with you too.
ReplyDeleteThe Gremlins one is too much!
ReplyDeleteAnd Scott would totally do that with ice cream. Anything less than 1/2 the carton is too small of a serving.
Cracking up! I can't believe he tried to curl his eyes lashes! And the "I'm not on a diet" comment. Too funny! He does come up with some creative things.
ReplyDeleteOMG the gremlins conversations is just too funny! Such an expert! These were all gold!!
ReplyDeleteThese are AWESOME. And I think I have to agree with him on the ice cream one ;)
ReplyDeleteOh my god he's a riot - my favorite although it was hard to pick "MFD: It's November 2. You are wearing an outdoor vest inside. You are ridiculous."
ReplyDeleteOMG the Gremlins dissection is my favorite. I also kind of want to know who's playing the Schumachers.
ReplyDeletelmfao the Gremlin expertise is too amusing! My bf is a dick and half of what he says needs to either be a) censored or b) I will be expected to apologize on his behalf. :) Have a great one Stephanie! -Iva
ReplyDeleteI had to shut my office door because I'm laughing too loud to be at work lol
ReplyDeleteDoes the after midnight eating mean he was successful in his quest to find the candy? (Side note: I put our leftover candy on top of the cabinets where the guys can reach it and I can't, but with the high levels of obliviousness/lack of finding ability, they'll probably never notice it or eat it, so I don't know if I really accomplished anything.)
ReplyDeleteI think this is the best one yet. I wish I had the problem of my eyelashes being too long!
ReplyDeleteT Swift's greatness has reached everyone! And at least he has a purpose in going to see Dirty Dancing. Can we please get an eyelash cutting tutorial? That sounds dangerous!
ReplyDeletehahaha I'm sorry before I even got to the written part of the post I was already hysterically laughing at MFD's pic. I love these posts, they are always favorites of mine! MFD obviously keeps you very entertained!
ReplyDeletehahahaha he curled and cut his lashes. i love that so much.
ReplyDeleteseriously gremlins terrify me - just reading about them gave me the heeby jeebies and now i probably wont be able to sleep tonight.
HAHAHAHAHA - Dude, the Schumakers? I would have just giggled and giggled and giggled.
ReplyDeleteAnd a gremlins expert? AWESOME!
What do you trim your eye lashes with?
ReplyDeleteMy mom wears her outdoor stuff inside and when we visit she says if we're cold we should wear ours too, guests be damned. Ha!
hahahaha leave it up to a man to have long eyelashes. always wasted on them;)
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely hysterical. Tell that man to leave his lashes alone!
ReplyDeleteHave i mentioned how much i love these posts?! Im going to need your title pic as a meme that says Thug Life. lmao!
ReplyDeleteOMG the amount of food he brings to bed, I am not surprised he hasn't talked you in to a pantry or small fridge for the bedroom! LOL! And the small bowl thing, totally something Chris would say! And yes, silly boys...thinking they would actually find anything? That is laughable! It could be right in front of them!
ReplyDeleteMay you always make each other laugh! So detailed about The Gremlins!!! Never watched it! I do wear hats to bed sometimes in the winter ! Since we have the pellet stove fireplace, I stand in front of that.
ReplyDeleteLove you both to infinity and beyond! Love, Your MOMMA
I lost it at the Gremlin one! My husband says that All The Time!!'n
ReplyDeleteCutting eyelashes sounds so incredibly dangerous!
ReplyDelete"We have to go early"...haha! That one killed me.
I love these posts so much!
Bahahahahh... why did "they're little stinkers" make me laugh the hardest of all?!?!
ReplyDeleteBahaha! As usual MFD does not disappoint! :)
ReplyDeleteLaughing out loud. Always eating in bed!
ReplyDeleteThis guy! He kills me!
ReplyDelete...but the real question is, did he find the halloween candy?!
ReplyDelete