Store clerk: Did you just get your hair cut?
MFD: Me? No.
Store clerk: It's perfect.
MFD: Thanks man. I used to have horrible hair in high school.
Store Clerk: Now...
MFD: Now I don't leave the house unless my hair is perfect.
Store Clerk: And it is. It is.
Store Clerk: And it is. It is.
On a lazy, rainy Saturday
MFD: What do you want to do for dinner?
Me: Well, I have a bunch of stuff to make but I don't feel like making anything.
MFD: Chinese food you said?
Me: I think that's what I said.
At The Second City
MFD: That guy did not wash his hands after he went to the bathroom! Contaminating disease spreader. Fecal fucker!
Examining a popover at his birthday dinner
MFD: It's like a soufflé type roll.
Me: It's empty inside.
MFD: Like your soul.
Laughter from the table behind us
MFD: What are you watching?
Me: Dawson's Creek.
MFD: Is this a movie or a TV show?
Me: Are you kidding me?
As The Big Chill comes on
MFD: This is our life now.
Me: What?
MFD: This. We all went from St. Elmo's Fire to The Big Chill in what feels like minutes.
Me: What?
MFD: This. We all went from St. Elmo's Fire to The Big Chill in what feels like minutes.
Discussing types of cakes
MFD: I like fluffier cakes. Not dense like I'm eating a packed turd. You know?
Me: I guess...?
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1
Shit MFD Said Vol 2
Shit MFD Said Vol 3
Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5
Shit MFD Said Vol 6
Shit MFD Said Vol 7
Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9
