The Cult of Positivity

I can't take Debbie Downers. They suck the air right out of the room, are never happy or satisfied, and they piss me off. But the people who smile so hard they look like their face might crack pain me too. Acting like nothing is ever good and acting like nothing is ever bad are two extremes that don't ring true to me or fit into my worldview.

via

Today's society is very into applauding the overly positive people. Is it possible to be too positive, to get to the point where you totally disregard anything negative? Are people shoving themselves into that positivity mold at great cost to their emotional well being? I've seen positivity bullies out there too - no one can say a freaking thing that's not shining like a diamond without being called out for being negative. Seriously? Are we so caught up in appearing positive that we're missing learning how to thrive and exist despite the negative? How do you grow if you don't contend with anything hard? The tough times...no one wants them, but they do build character. The dark times put you in a better position to appreciate the light.

For me, the trick is not to never get upset or pissed off, it's to make negativity work for me. To channel negativity and make it my bitch. I don't know about you, but anger fuels me to improve, to hang in. It tests my mettle. Sadness and grief teach me about overcoming obstacles and learning to live with things that will not change. Disappointment shows me how well I deal with failure. Good results can come from bad situations and negative emotions. Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. You can't ignore problems or become estranged from reality just so you remain a beacon of positivity when shit hits the fan.

To me, accentuating the positive means holding up in the face of adversity, focusing on what I have rather than what I don't, seeing/seeking/finding the good, maintaining serenity when things are falling down around me, rolling with it...all of those are integral to how I live my life.

But when something goes wrong, I don't force a smile onto my face and I don't care about how the outside world views me or my struggle. I feel like some people are afraid to acknowledge hardship for fear of being branded negative. Acknowledging the suck is not negative and doesn't make you a negative person. Daily life has good and bad in it. To pretend it doesn't isn't real life. The cult of positivity leaves no room for reality. There is a place that exists between delusionally positive and Debbie Downer full time negative.

I think like this: There's good. There's bad. In all good things, there is something bad. In all bad things, there is something good. I choose what to look for and I choose where to place the emphasis. Sometimes there is no initial choosing and my choice lies in how I react. I'm responsible for my own balance.

I hate when people  beat themselves up on down days for not being positive. Everyone hits a low once in a while. It's okay. Give yourself the permission to feel what you feel and work through it, the cult of positivity be damned.



Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions.

 Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday

Linking up with Liz for The Hump Day Blog Hop