I've said a few times that I wouldn't be discussing religion here. As we all know, I do what I want, so today I decided I will be discussing it.
MFD and I were both raised Catholic, me more so than him in that I received all of the sacraments except for marriage - we weren't married by a priest. I grew away from that belief system early in my life, but he never really did. He's always identified as a Catholic and I haven't for a very long time.
Recently he's returned to being a practicing Catholic. Jesus is his homeboy and MFD will high five Jesus anywhere he pleases, Facebook included. He's out with his faith, which is directly opposite of how I approach religion: I feel that it's personal, private, and between me and my higher power alone. I don't even really discuss my beliefs with those closest to me. I will sort of wall you off if you approach me about it.
A friend of mine, knowing how I feel about religion and organized religion in particular, asked me how I was with MFD's faith forward posture.
Honestly? I'm great with it. It grounds him and makes him happy, and both of those things are extremely important to me. MFD knows I'm not interested in doing Church things, so he bops down to the parish a block from our house and I do my thing. Who am I to tell him, or anyone else for that matter, how to feed their soul?
In our house, we're accepting and tolerant of the belief systems of others and that starts right with us. Just because we're married doesn't mean we feel the same about everything and even if we did, people change over time and as long as they're not destructive changes, you have to roll with it. At the end of the day, what someone feels deep in their heart is their business, whatever deity they believe in or the absence of belief in a deity if that's how they roll.
There's room enough in this world for the beliefs of all of us. If we really thought about it, we'd find more commonality than differences among our belief systems. We'd find that working hard, being a good person, sharing good energy, helping our neighbors and community, and minding what we're doing instead of what others are doing is where most religions rub up against one another, no matter what name that religion's higher power goes by. Which is why Buddha wears rosary beads in our house. Good is good, no matter what religion it falls under.
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| Real life: I went to pull that weed, but when I went to do it Buddha's head fell off. Whoops. |
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| My Joyful Buddha wearing MFD's rosary beads |
Note: since this references MFD's beliefs, I ran it by him first. He insisted I did not receive all sacraments (what it originally said) because marriage is a sacrament. I got schooled.Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions.
Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday
Linking up with Liz for Fitness Blondie's Blog Hop:
Couldn't agree more. I am a lapsed catholic but I believe in treating people with kindness and acceptance. When we cast judgement on people for being different or believing differently is when we go wrong.
ReplyDeleteLove this!! religion should not be used as a means to judge anyone
ReplyDeleteI love that Buddha wears the rosary :) Im not Catholic, I grew up Christian but evangelical and so my parents high five Jesus anywhere and errywhere! I don't believe in judgement based on religion in fact that should be the opposite of what its about. Great post girlie
ReplyDeleteI love your attitude about all of this. To each their own.
ReplyDeleteThat last paragraph--YES!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, my husband and I are different religions and for whatever reason, people feel the need to make comments, pass judgment, be rude...all of it. Especially since Jews are not often found in DE, we're occasionally treated like a novelty or a freakshow. I can't stand it. What we do in our home, how we practice religion is our business.
I have a buddha wearing a Giants helmet on my kitchen windowsill so that the football gods will shine down upon us (though it didn't work last season). I'm actually really interested in how other religions work and where they got their beliefs from. There are many that I just don't get, but if it doesn't affect me, then believe away, people. I think some people would have a hard time being with someone with different religious beliefs, but I love your outlook on it and that your love and respect for one another outweighs the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteI am 100% ok with differing beliefs as long as (as you mention) they are judging others (unless of course your religion involves something like animal sacrifice or some weird shit like that. In that case, no, I am not ok with you.) I am SO tired of all of the self-proclaimed Christians who spout off about Jesus but then fight back tooth and nail against gay marriage, abortion, etc etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI also can't stand throwing religion in other's faces. If I visit a blog and there is something about Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, being a believer, etc. on any "about me" page or intro, there is a significant chance I won't read. I go to church, I spent 12 years in Catholic school, have made all of the sacraments and don't need to broadcast that to anyone. I don't really get the need to be so public about religion. That's what you are and what you believe, good for you. I don't care.
Great post! I'm more aligned with your thought that religion is a personal, private thing, but I have to admit I'm oddly fascinated by other people's religious beliefs (or non-beliefs, as the case may be). I don't believe that any one religion is correct, and I couldn't agree more with the part about how it really all boils down to the same thing. I wish more people preached tolerance and acceptance rather than judgment and hate. Rock on, lady!
ReplyDeleteSO with you on all of this. I don't care what kind of deity you pray to or meditate on, as long as you live by a general "don't be an asshole" mantra. The judgmental "our way or the highway" thing is really a turnoff. Also, different tangent, DON'T USE YOUR RELIGION TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE INTO VOTING FOR YOU. It feels very cultlike. I'm looking at you, tea party.
ReplyDelete-Heather
I do what I want.
Tyson and I have totally opposite religious beliefs yet we still live happily together (most of the time). Neither of us feel the need to judge or even try to change the other.
ReplyDeleteI am very open minded about other's religious beliefs, unfortunately I live in the "bible belt" and most people around me do not feel the same. I will never stop being disgusted when southern Christians belittle other religions, it makes me so mad!
Preach it, girl.
ReplyDeleteLuckily for you, you also missed Extreme Unction (as it used to be called) and Holy Orders... but the important thing IMHO is that we all are entitled to believe as we will. I have Buddha here, as well as Jesus - they both taught peace and love and compassion and humility. However we get to those principles is just the path we take to the same place.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading about how you have different beliefs, I was thinking about how many people insist that divorce is okay because "people change". Of course people change! I admire the way your marriage is above that :)
ReplyDeleteScott and I have ebbs and flows in our faith but we've always had a very faith-based relationship, so it does make me sad that we've fallen out of that over the last year. Missouri was rough on us because we couldn't find a church.
Like MFD I've recently found my way back to the Catholic church for my own reasons. I think as long as people don't push their religion anyone they are allowed to practice their faith however they want. No judgement here. Weird but I have a buddha statue also and people always ask me about it. I just have it because it I like it and it's suppose to be good luck.
ReplyDeleteDude, to say I love this post is an understatement. First of all, the title alone says so much. And while none of this is news to me, you put it out there in an approachable way that I think a lot of people would relate to.
ReplyDeleteI was raised Catholic too and have recently wanted to start going back to church but struggle going solo. I'm impressed by MFD's self-motivation and by your acceptance. I like the way you think.
ReplyDeleteYou sure did get MFD/Jesus schooled!
ReplyDeleteI love this for many ways, mainly for your no holds barred, unapologetic way of putting it out there.
Love this! And this - "Who am I to tell him, or anyone else for that matter, how to feed their soul?" - right on, girl!
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph above the Buddha picture sums up everything we need to know about religion perfectly. I love the open and honest dynamic in your marriage, very admirable.
ReplyDeletePS: you forgot a blog hop :'(
how wonderful is this. I think being christian is about being understanding no matter what the circumstance or beliefs. I agree with you on faith but I'd like to think i would be ok with michael if he thought like you.
ReplyDeletenot like you***like MFD!
DeleteYour mentatlity is very much like my mom's, who was raised Catholic, but no longer practices. By the time we were born, she would always tell us, "if you're good, that's all that matters", and we never had a church upbringing. I don't think there is anything wrong if you do, but my mom's "way" always worked for me. Thanks for sharing. I love your outlook on being okay with MFD doing his 'thang. Some people can't do that. You really are awesome :)
ReplyDeleteMy Buddha wears a mala, but I have a rosary and I might just bust it out now that ya mention it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you so so much on this!!!! I have really lost some friendships because of religion and Im like just because I dont believe exactly like you doesnt make me wrong but some people are bullheaded and if you're judging me with your religion than I dont want to be apart of that anyway.
ReplyDeleteI love this because I have a similar approach to religion. I feel like what I believe is my own personal beliefs. No one else has to like it, just respect that I believe what I want. I don't mind if others are outward with their beliefs, as long as it is in general, like maybe you post a bit of scripture one day or you tell me you will pray for me if I tell you something bad is happening. But do not throw what you believe down my throat, or have no respect for what I believe. My only intolerance with religion is the intolerance and ignorance of others! I also really respect your relationship, as Chris and I have different views on certain things as well but respect each other enough that it doesn't matter.
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a true, non-religion pushing post! So many bloggers these days are God this and Jesus that which I totally respect, but it is nice to see a fresh perspective. I love that you and your husband respect each others beliefs without sharing the same ones. If only we could get the whole world to figure that out!
ReplyDeleteI was baptised and had first communion. Never got confirmed, because they were being dicks. They wanted me to come to class wednesday nights for 3hours which was fine for the nearby public school kids but I went to school 45 minutes away. A CATHOLIC SCHOOL. With religion class and daily mass. But my church wouldn't budge. So I never got confirmed. Now, I just don't care. I don't really ponder religion at all. If people ask, I'm catholic, but would I be upset if I never set foot in a church again? Nope. I guess my view is that I'm fine with spirituality, but organized religion is (a) not my thing and (b) makes people do crazy ass things.
ReplyDeletehell to the yes. full support with this post. we are not religious peeps in this house and when people found out that we are not baptizing kayla, they look at me like i was the devil. so i legit told them: who am i to force a religion on someone? that is a personal choice and if kayla decides she wants to follow a religion, i'll fully support her and help her learn all about it. hell, i'll even drive her to church myself and sit beside her but i won't be converting myself. i fully believe that you don't have to be follow a religion to be seen as a good person.
ReplyDeletelove this!!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
omg this comment is filled with grammar atrocities - forgive me because i'm half listening to a conference call and reading blogs. multi-tasking at its finest.
DeleteI was raised Catholic too and now we attend a Non-Denom Christian church because my kids love it. They are all about getting kids involved and gearing toward them. Catholics really fall short on that. But I struggle with all of it. I think whatever works for you, works for you! And the last rites are a sacrament too, I hope you never got that one either lol
ReplyDeleteI was christened Catholic as a baby and made my communion and confirmation when I was 19. I felt very moved and was in tears many times in church. Now I get the spiritual chills! I do not agree w/ many teachings of the church & I think people quote the Bible to suit themselves. Anyway, go with how you feel and we all know it is good to be kind, charitable, empathetic, etc. Do good stuff! It is human to compare and judge to a certain extent. My "voice" says to be Worry about yourself, Linda!!!! I adore the Villanova Chapel simply by the sense of peace when I first walked in- spiritual chills and peace! I am glad all of my chickens were christened, communion-ed, and confirmed and that they
ReplyDeleteare all good people who continue to live and learn and choose for themselves how to believe.
Another wonderful blog, my sweet girl!!! Love your MOMMA #veryproud #youareverywise
I love how real your posts always are. I was raised Catholic too in the, my parents made sure my brother & I got through confimation, & went to church sometimes but not all the time. There are times when I think about going to church (whether Catholic or otherwise) but struggle with organized religion & the hypocrisy of it all too much.
ReplyDelete"Good is good, no matter what religion it falls under." Yes, yes, YES! Like you said, it's GOOD for MFD so who cares? I only have a problem with it when people use it an excuse to act better than others, etc. Be kind. Be good. The end. :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post and love the photo of buddha wearing the beads. Haha! I was raised Catholic too but hardly feel like a "good" Catholic nowadays. . . to me faith and being a good person/helping others is more important than the label of a religion. I feel so sad for people when they say they are whatever religion they act all hateful towards people. I want to say to them "What would Jesus do?" Haha!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Joey and I are both Catholic, raised that way and still go to church for special occasions but we're not active in the religious community and don't believe in following all the traditions and expectations of the church. Here on Guam, religion is a big deal. There are rosaries, novenas, masses, ceremonies, etc. We hardly attend any type of religious function and we try to avoid religious conversations as well. It's not that we hate God or hate the church, it's just that we don't feel the need to prove that we're "good" Catholics. We do good things, we help others, we raise our children to respect people and to use their lives to do good as well. We're happy with our life the way it is, and others should be happy for us as well, instead of trying to pressure us to go to church and do what "good" Catholics "should" be doing.
ReplyDeleteI think for a lot of couples, not sharing a religion can be a real source of friction, but it sounds like you are both pretty comfortable with your own beliefs and really open to allowing the other person to have their own too. And this is why you're awesome. =)
ReplyDeleteLove this. There is something that can be learned from all religious traditions. I think if we all work to be better people, we're doing a good job. "If you use your religion to cast stones against others, I have to say I think you're doing it wrong." Well said, Steph!
ReplyDeleteFabulous blog. Wild applause. Brought the house down. Good is good!
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful and one of the 900 reasons why I adore you! So wise, SMD!
ReplyDeleteWe all find our own way! I think it's great that y'all are able to have different beliefs, but it works. That's how it should be!
ReplyDelete"If you use your religion to cast stones against others, I have to say I think you're doing it wrong"...yes, yes, yes, this 1000 times. I'm not a fan of organized religion for a number of reasons. I cannot stand to listen to anyone try to cram their belief's down anyone's throat...and everyone should do what is right for them as long as it does not infringe on other's rights.
ReplyDeleteThis is perfect. I also feel that religion is personal and I don't have to explain myself (or rather, defend what people think of me) because it's for me only. Jacob and I have some different religious and political views and we respect each other so it's never been an issue. Good for you guys!
ReplyDelete