Shit MFD Said This Week Vol 3

At a family gathering
MFD: Wait! Put on Lawrence Welk!
Everyone in chorus: No!
MFD: What! That's a great show.

Putting dinner away
MFD: Where's the lid for this?
Me: Where all the lids are.
long pause
MFD: Well this is ridiculous.

Yelling up from the kitchen:

MFD: Steph! Where's the milk? 

Me: I don't drink milk. I don't know. I'm guessing it would be in the fridge.

MFD: fah-ahh-ahhhck

Via phone:
MFD: about your text...you said send a picture of lotion. We didn't get any in the mail.
Me: No no. That hand lotion for outdoors stuff that you got at Jack & Lori's.
MFD: That's cream.
Me: Same thing as lotion.
MFD: Balm, really.
Me: Still the same thing. 

Reading his church bulletin:

MFD: Hey Steph, you want to host an exchange student?

Me: No. 

MFD: They could have a bedroom and hang out in the basement. There's a generous monthly stipend. 

Me: No. 

MFD: Come on. 

Me: No.

As I'm walking out the door:

MFD: Did you wear that outfit yesterday? 

Me: What do you think I am?

Today is my Pop's birthday. He is a card, saying things like:

-Very good (his go to response to anything and now mine)

-calls his grown sons "boy" and all women "woman"

-Say nothing, stay longer

*************************************

Haikuesday:

Birthday week is here

Pass the winning powerball

And the pimp cane too

*************************************

I just like the term pimp cane. Tomorrow: tooting your own horn.