Poised on the precipice of a new year

I love turning the calendar over to a new year. I think of it as a fresh start: a clean slate I can mark up as I choose, a story that I'm excited to write. There are few things that rev me up as much as possibility and I associate the dawn of a new year with an abundance of possibility.

As individuals and as a couple 2013 was a difficult year for us, one that required a lot of growth and change. I've been writing this blog since August 2011 and I still wrestle with being authentic and real in this space while keeping what should be private private. Having a blog does not mean being an open book, and people should not expect that that's what it means. *I* should not expect that that's what it means. Vulnerability is not a comfortable coat to wear, and what I write here always opens me up to scrutiny and sometimes pushes me out of my comfort zone. It challenges me and I like that but sometimes it also makes me shrink back, reluctant to share. Thank you for knowing you aren't seeing everything behind the curtain and reading anyway.

We are each on our own journey in this life, and I'm really glad I get to share pieces of mine with you, and hear pieces of yours through our interactions. I love your comments here, conversing with you on facebook, and talking about something you liked (or didn't) on here in person. Thank you for another year of being on the other side of the screen.

What's ahead? I feel at peace in my heart approaching 2014. I'm kicking it up a notch at work and I'm on the verge of offering sponsorship and advertising on this blog. Things are humming along for me, and MFD is in a great place as well and is looking forward to working at a new brokerage office with a lot of great opportunities ahead for him career-wise. We're anticipating an awesome 2014.

I don't make resolutions. I'm much better keeping myself accountable with seasonal goals (you can see my winter goals here). However, I do have some intentions for 2014: acceptance, possibilities, and self-discipline. I want to be more accepting of things I can't change, more aware of all the possibilities I have, and more self-disciplined in regards to my health and wellness. Like put the fucking cookies down and back away type of self-discipline.

And, as with every year, I want to be better, kinder, stronger, braver, smarter, more aware and more fierce.

Whatever else you do today, do yourself a favor and leave your old shit behind in the vestibule as you close the door on 2013. Don't carry it with you into another year.

What about you? Do you make resolutions or set goals for the year?

I'm wishing all of my mum friends good luck tomorrow, especially MFD and the men of the Joseph A. Ferko String Band. Mummery is a great, storied, long-time Philadelphia tradition MFD has been involved in for 26 years. This is the first year in many years that I won't be having a parade party in the warmth of my own home but will instead be down on the street catching a bit of the string bands. It was originally forecasted to be a high of 28, but now it's a merciful 36. Still, I'm pretty sure I was wearing flip flops last year. Layers, be kind to me. Check back here tomorrow early for a link to watch the parade live (string bands should be on around 1:30) and see how Philly does New Year's Day.

Hot apps! Get your hot apps here!

Yes, we've eaten a lot, haven't we? At this point I should be eating lettuce for eternity, but I'm not there just yet. I am off of the big meal right now though and digging apps only, which my mom had on Thursday night at her house. Here's what I brought with me, both are super easy:

Ingredients
2 - 8 oz packages of cream cheese
1 cup mayo
1.5 white sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup parmesan cheese
1/4 tsp each of ground mustard, garlic salt, and salt
8-10 oz chopped jalapeno peppers (I buy the 12 oz jar and use 8 oz or 10 oz depending on how much heat I want. NOTE do not chop those bitches and touch anything near your face or eyes)
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

Directions
Allow cream cheese to soften on the counter. When soft, mix cream cheese, mayo, one cup of cheddar, 1 cup of parmesan, jalapenos, and spices in a bowl.

Spray a baking dish with non-stick spray and pour mixture into a baking dish. Top with another 1/2 cup of cheddar cheese.

Mix the panko bread crumbs and 1/2 cup of parmesan in a small bowl and sprinkle over the dip.

Bake in a preheated 350 oven until the sides are bubbling and the cheese cheese has melted and turned golden brown on top, about 30 minutes.

Serve with tortilla chips. Original recipe from Closet Cooking. 

Ingredients 

a big wedge or wheel of brie

Phyllo shells - at least two boxes of 15

jam of your choice

Directions

Cut brie into small pieces and put in phyllo shells. If you are travelling, put them right back into the boxes and assemble the rest at your destination.

Put a dab of your jam on top of each. Bake on a baking sheet out of the packaging in a 350 oven for six or seven minutes, until the cheese is melty. 

Boom. Two hot apps. Got any gatherings coming up?

Happy Friday! Although when you're off for nine days they all start to run together. We're headed out to see The Wolf of Wall Street this morning because we are 1. old and don't like crowds 2. cheap and don't want to pay $748 for a movie ticket at night.

Whatever you're doing, enjoy! And don't forget to consider joining me for a January Spending Freeze. All the cool kids are doing it. The Christmas-poor kids are doing it too.

Brownie Batter Dip - it's as good as it sounds

You guys, this is holy shit good. Must-make good. The next time you need to bring a dessert, I suggest you bring this. It's super easy, you probably have all the ingredients in your house, and it's very very delicious. I saw the recipe on Chef in Training.

Ingredients

8 oz cream cheese

1/2 cup butter

2-3 cups powdered sugar

5 TBS All Purpose Flour

5 TBS Cocoa

2 TBS brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla

4 TBS milk

Directions

Allow cream cheese and butter to come to room temp, then cream together with a hand mixer until well mixed. Add 1 cup of powdered sugar and 1 TBS milk and mix again. Add another cup of powdered sugar and another TBS of milk and mix again. 

Add the flour, cocoa powder, vanilla, and brown sugar. Do a taste test. At this point I added another quarter cup of powdered sugar and 2 TBS of milk as well as another teaspoon of cocoa powder. Taste test for your taste. Mix well and store in the fridge. 

I served it with strawberries, pineapple, and pretzel crisps. The strawberries were by far the most popular. 

Enjoy!

2013 in Review

 

Let's do this. Settle in, it's a whole year in review.

I'm currently reading my 50th book of 2013. These are my top 10:
1. Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

2. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

3. Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner

4. Looking for Alaska by John Green

5. The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton

6. A Hundred Summers by Beatriz Williams

7. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

8. The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman

9. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
10. Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah

1. The Blacklist

2. The Americans

3. Downton Abbey

4. Veep
5. The Killing
6. Sons of Anarchy (I'm up to season five)
7. The Sopranos (I watched all episodes this year)
***Favorite People to hate on TV: Dana on Homeland, the inept FBI on The Following, Elena on The Vampire Diaries, Clay on Sons of Anarchy

Favorite Songs 
1. Get Lucky - Daft Punk/Pharrell Williams
2. Royals - Lorde
3. Pompeii - Bastille
4. When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars
5. Ho Hey - Lumineers
6. Suit & Tie - JT
7. Wake Me Up - Avicii

1. Engagements! Kim & Steve, Stephen & Aubrey, Shawn & Maggie. Happy things. 

2. Babies! My aunt Dawn and Sergio and cousin Tiffany and Brandon had babies in June. Two of MFD's cousins had babies - Matthew and Laura and Nicole and Patrick. Frank and Amanda found out they're expecting in 2014.

3. Weddings! Laura & Chris! Lauren & Kevin!
4. Beach weekeends: OCMD trip with family, Girls' Weekend in Cape May,  OCNJ with Kim & Steve and straight on to Strathmere with Frank & Amanda
5. Kim & Esteban's Bridal BBQ shower

6. Maisel joined our family

7. Summer weekend and Thanksgiving in North Woods

8. Aunt Carrie's 60th wine tour
9. Spent a lovely fall weekend with Gwen with appearances by Marla and Brie

10. Relay For Life

11. Declaring Sundays stay at home days whenever possible
12. Getting a new king bed
13. Expanding the gallery wall going up the stairs
14. Turning the office into a dressing room and rearranging the upstairs
15. Re-doing the front retaining walls and painting the front door yellow

16. Learning how to do a sage smudge on my house to usher out negativity, how to make perfect rice in the crockpot and freeze it, that hard boiled eggs are easier to peel when you make them in the oven, and how to fold a fitted sheet
17. Already started paying for 2014's vacation
18. MFD had a successful year in his business even though he was on crutches for over 12 weeks - not cool when you're a realtor and need to be on the move
19. We got a fake tree! Finally!
20. I did three spending freezes with not too shabby results, and my next one is set for January with a link up planned for February 4 if you're down. More info to come.

(when the link goes to my pin on pinterest, I've noted alterations in the description)

1. Roasted Carrots with Thyme
2. Mini Pumpkin Cheesecakes
3. Jalapeno creamed corn
4. Triple chocolate greek yogurt zucchini cake
5. Buffalo chicken pizza
6. No bake energy bites - I omit the coconut
7. Layered Southwest Chicken Casserole a la The Weary Chef
8. Whole wheat waffles
9. Mimi's bread
10. Deconstructed Chicken Parm
11. Chicken Cordon Bleu Pasta

1. MAC lipstick in Twig

2. Essie nail polish (above L-R) Madison Ave-Hue, Sunday Funday, Cashmere Bathrobe, and It's Genius
3. L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes, the poor lady's Lancome Definicils
4. Erin Condren planner
5. Trader Joe's Face Wash and Moisturizer
6. Palmolive Soft Touch Aloe
7. Lodge Enamel cast iron dutch oven - total kitchen work horse.
8. Coconut oil - Good for face, body, hair...Christ even my dogs eat it to better their skin and coat
9. Muji Makeup Storage
10. Nordic bakewear - that  photo is after using it all year and never once spraying it with nonstick spray. It is exceptional. I buy them at TJ Maxx or Marshalls.

Favorite Posts I Wrote

1. The Honey Bunnies vs. the Reality of Relationships

2. P is for Productivity

3. Quotes and Reflections that Reflect Me
4. How to Throw a Kick Ass Party
5. This is written by my dog Gus, but still...From the Desk of Augustus Gloop
6. I didn't marry my best friend
7. When Sharing is Not Caring
8. Forgiveness
9. 36 Realizations from 36 Years - Part I and Part II
10. A Thanksgiving Timeline

In general, 2013 as a year was harder than most for many people I know, me included. I won't be sorry to see it go. I also won't be listing the shit events because who wants to read a wahhhhmbulance list? No one, son.

However, from all bad comes good if you're open to it. The things that were hard for me taught me the most even when the only thing they taught me was that I could persevere. Plus look at this large list I've amassed, all these good things! There is always yin and yang, good and bad. I really think you need some bad to appreciate how good the good is. That's life, and there is beauty in the nuances. Signing off with one of my all-time favorite quotes:

Sunday Soup - tomato bisque a la Disney Cruise Line

I am a crazy Disney Cruise lady. I love everything about them, especially the food, which is glorious. They serve a lovely tomato bisque that my friend Jill requests frequently. I found a recipe for it online and recreated it, lightening it up a bit. It did not disappoint.

Ingredients
2- 28 oz cans plum tomatoes
6 oz can tomato paste
3 tbs butter
diced celery - 1 cup using a liquid measuring cup
sliced carrots - 1 cup using a liquid measuring cup
diced vidalia onion - 1 cup using a liquid measuring cup
salt to taste
16 oz light cream
16 oz fat free half & half

Directions

Preheat oven to 350.

Drain juice from tomatoes into a bowl and set aside.

Place tomatoes on a baking sheet with a lip and roast for 25 minutes.

Melt butter in a stock pot and saute onion, celery, and carrots until translucent. Add reserved tomato juice and tomato paste. Stir until the paste is broken up. Add tomatoes and cook for 40 minutes, stirring occasionally so nothing sticks to the bottom.  I put a lid on it because Sweet Brown ain't got no time to clean up tomato splatter from the entire kitchen.

Remove from heat. Using an immersion blender, blend the crap out of it. If don't have an immersion blender, you can use a regular blender and blend in batches.

Heat cream and half and half on the stove, stirring so it doesn't stick. Add to the soup, stirring well to mix. Add salt to taste. Top with basil if you choose.

If you are doing this, maybe don't wear a white t-shirt or if you do wear white, maybe just don't be a spazz like I am and get it everywhere.

Paired with grilled cheese, this was a perfect meal for a snowy and cold Saturday.

Enjoy!

One dish broiled chicken

Hi ho friends. This is a super easy one-dish recipe, which is awesome because hello no mess. It also allows me to incorporate artichokes, which MFD loves so much he eats alone, and I only love when spinach artichoke dip is the vehicle. AND prep time to cook time, it's done in less than 30 minutes.

I also like this recipe because if you're like me you have this stuff in your house already. And if you don't, they're cheap to acquire.

Ingredients
8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
4 TBS olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
a few shakes each of garlic powder and parsley
2 14 oz cans artichokes, drained
1 cup bruschetta or petite diced tomatoes (I used Sam's bruschetta, I might be obsessed with it)
10 sliced baby bella mushrooms (optional)
1/2 cup shredded cheese (any type, I used parmesan)
Olives would also be awesome in this, but I didn't add them this time.

Directions
Spray bottom of a broiler pan (or any pan that can withstand temps of 500 degrees +) and preheat broiler. Move rack to the highest setting (3 inches from broiler)

Put chicken thighs, artichokes, and mushrooms in a bowl. Add olive oil, salt, pepper, and mix well to coat.

Put into pan, ensuring the thighs lay flat. Broil for six minutes, then turn thighs with tongs and broil an additional six minutes. Check doneness - you may need to flip one more time to ensure they're cooked through. If you do, check on them after two minutes then if done move on to the next step.

Remove from oven and top with bruschetta/tomatoes and cheese. Broil an additional 2-3 minutes.

Remove and serve as is with or over pasta, in which case it is no longer one dish. However I couldn't resist the siren song of the pasta. I boiled Ronzoni SmartTaste thin spaghetti, tossed it lightly with olive oil, then topped it with goodness. It was delicious. Chicken thighs, you are the unsung hero of the kitchen.

Mangia mangia.

We have so much.

Fresh off of a weekend chock full of food and family and shopping for most of us, we are checking in online on our computers, tablets, smart phones. We're likely somewhere warm, having some coffee, in comfortable clothes. We live an abundant life.

If we have a list of needs, they're likely actually wants. When we say we need it, we know we're exaggerating. Most of us have no idea what it's like to truly be in need of water, food, shelter, heat, etc.

Even when we're having a poor month, to most of us that means having to cut down on cups of coffee on the go or the amount of beers we drink or bottles of nail polish we buy to round out our collection. It means stretching food in our pantry and staying in. Sure, there are times we struggle to pay bills or have surprise expenses that wiped out savings. But to struggle daily or not be able to provide for our kids is not something that's familiar to most of us.

Thankfully.

I want to help others, even when the a amount I can afford to give or the time I can afford to spend is small. I want to help others even if they never know it's me that went shopping for canned goods, me that raised the money for that ride to chemotherapy, me who donated the clothes they're wearing. I actually prefer to keep the me out of it. I imagine that having to rely on charity is humbling and I don't need to be out there tooting my own horn. I don't give to get recognition.

I give because I believe that giving back to others to ease their load is one of the best ways to feel like a human being. It makes me feel like part of my community. I feel grateful that I can contribute, no matter the size of the contribution. It reassures me to know if I ever find myself in dire straits that someone will be out there ready to give me a leg up when I need it.

MFD and I like to be charitable and make a difference volunteering where we can throughout the year, but there's something that tugs at your heartstrings even more at Christmas, isn't there? So many people in need, so many wishes to be granted. 

Since most of us truly have so much, this month I'd like to do a giveaway that will extend your charity to whatever organization you choose. Happy holidays to you and yours and to whomever you choose to help if you win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How do you choose to give back?
 p.s. Happy birthday to my uncle Billy today!
Linking up with
Because Shanna Said So - Random Wednesday

A Thanksgiving Timeline

There are 470,892 Thanksgiving recipes out there, so instead of sharing the recipes I used when we hosted Friendsgiving this weekend, I thought I'd share my timeline in painstaking detail because that's what really amps people up. Thanksgiving is a meal where the main course takes up your oven for a lot of the day and there are 702 side dishes you also need to put into the oven. And it has to be on the table simultaneously, so it all comes down to timing. If you want any of the recipes, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com and I'll get them to you. My menu for eight adults and one child:

Appetizers: 
Raw yellow peppers with onion dip
Devilled eggs a la Debbie
Cheese and crackers
Butternut squash soup a la Angie

Main: 
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Stuffing - in the bird and out of the bird
Spinach casserole
Sweet potato casserole
Corn
Green beans
Rolls & butter
Cranberry sauce (jelly)
gravy - with pan drippings
gravy - with pan drippings and giblets

Dessert: 
Peanut Butter and chocolate buckeyes a la Jenny
Apple and pumpkin pie a la Amanda

Dinner was scheduled for Saturday at 6:00. Sorry if this bugs your eyes out, but here's my play by play:

Friday:
2-3 p.m.: Grocery shopping: me at two stores and MFD at two stores.
3:30 - 4: Chop herbs for brine, prepare brine for the turkey, put turkey in the brine breast-side down and into the fridge. Name your turkey. Our turkey's name is Bernard.

4:15: Slice foccacia bread into bite sized pieces for stuffing. Allow to sit out for the rest of the night on a jelly roll pan.
4:30 - 6:00: Chop celery and onions for the stuffing, sage/rosemary/thyme for the stuffing, peppers for the app, onions for the spinach casserole, herbs for herbed butter. Store in separate tupperware containers. Remove a stick of butter from the fridge. Snap ends off of beans, store in a ziploc bag.
6:05: Become consumed with fear that my 15.23 pound turkey will not be enough, and put a 7 pound bone-in turkey breast in the oven. Baste every half hour.
7:00: Thaw and squeeze water from two packs of frozen chopped spinach. Store in tupperware.
8:20: Remove turkey breast, let rest for 20 minutes then remove to platter.
8:30: Make giblet gravy with the pan drippings (MFD).
8:45: MFD carves turkey breast. I cut up lemons, limes, oranges for drinks.

9:00 Make herbed butter with the herbs designated for it and the butter that's been softening for a few hours.
10:00:  Turn the turkey over onto its back in the brine, put the cubed bread into a gallon-sized ziploc.

Saturday: 
8:00 a.m.: Turn turkey over so it's breast side down in brine again.
9:00: Prepare spinach casserole and bake.
9:15: Receive email mentioning butter, realize butter was left out of the casserole, haul ass into the kitchen and frantically add it.
9:30: Prepare sweet potato casserole.
9:40: Remove spinach casserole and allow to cool on counter, put sweet potato casserole into oven.
9:45: Saute onions and celery for out of the bird stuffing, assemble.
10:00: Remove turkey from brine, dry thoroughly with towels, put on a platter and refrigerate.
10:15: Remove sweet potato casserole from oven and allow to cool on counter, put stuffing into oven.
10:15: Realize I will need more bread for in the bird stuffing. Toast backup bag of pre-cubed bread in the oven for 20 minutes. Thank the universe audibly that you always overbuy and do not have to rush to the store. 
10:20: Realize I need more herbs, onions, and celery for in the bird stuffing. Chop then saute.
10:45: Remove stuffing from oven and allow to cool on counter.
11:00: Remove turkey from fridge and set on counter. Dry it again.
11:15: Put stuffing, spinach casserole, and sweet potato casserole in the fridge.

11:45: Prepare turkey with veggie oil, herbed butter, and stuffing.
12 noon: The bird goes in the oven. Baste at 45 minutes and every half hour after that, rotate pan hourly.
12:15 p.m.: Make onion dip and refrigerate.
12:20: Wipe down the kitchen, run the dishwasher, do the kitchen floor. Put towels used to dry out turkey and clean into the wash.
1:15: Consider painting nails but realize you need to wear oven mitts as gloves for the next five hours.
2:00: Set the table.
2:30: Set the drinks up, make extra pitcher of iced tea, put a stick of butter out in a glass dish, fill up salt & pepper shakers
3:15: Turkey smells done and according to the thermometer, it is done. Tent that bird with foil.
3:30: Peel and cut potatoes, store in pot of cold salted water on stove top. Open three cans of corn and put in a bowl, cover with saran and refrigerate.
3:45: Move bird to large platter. Make gravy with pan drippings.
4:00: MFD carves turkey (and eats it surreptitiously like a wild jackal), arranges it in a weird presentation, and covers tightly with foil.
4:10: Turn oven to 200 and put spinach casserole, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole in the oven, covered.
4:30: Raise heat to 350.
5:00: Boil water for potatoes. Start to get really hot after standing in front of oven for eleven hundred days.
5:15: Steam green beans for 6 minutes, put gravy in gravy boats, open cranberry sauce and refrigerate. I am now moving like a well-oiled machine. 
5:25: Put apps and cold drinks out, fill ice bucket, light candles.
5:30: Saute green beans in three batches.
5:30: Finish off mashed potatoes (MFD). I heat up giblet gravy from Friday night.
5:35: Pull sweet potatoes out of the oven, put turkey and mashed potatoes in (covered), reduce heat to 275.
5:45: Put rolls in basket and cover with a towel.
5:50: Remove everything from the oven, put marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole and broil. Put remaining food on the table. Keep a close eye on sweet potatoes. Microwave corn, green beans, and gravy. Go go Gadget arms.
5:58: Make sure everyone has drinks and all dishes have spoons. Ladle soup into bowls. Bark out orders. 
6:00: Grab cranberry sauce in a last chance power drive.
6:04: Sit down to eat. Boom. The meal is eaten in less time than it takes to peel the potatoes, which I only ever do on Thanksgiving. We eat them with skins the rest of the year. 

Haikuesday:

Gather round, my friends. 

(If you fit with all the food)

Can tables collapse?

My advice:
1. Buy what you can. For me that's rolls and cranberry sauce. If you make rolls, make them ahead and freeze them.
2. Do not concoct a pie in the sky menu that you're not going to be able to execute. Keep it simple. Let people fill the holes in your menu. Write down or know a schedule in your head.
3. Do whatever you can before hand - chopping veggies is a big one. Setting out dishes you'll be using is too.
4. Ensure your turkey has ample time to thaw if you buy frozen. And dry that bird like it's the only thing keeping the world from catching on fire.
5. Make dishes ahead and reheat.
6. Have another pair of hands or two for the last 40 minutes and make someone else carve the turkey. MFD took care of the potatoes and Debbie helped with dishes and putting food out.
7. Wash and clean as you go, and get rid of as many dishes as you can before anyone arrives.
8. Have an empty dishwasher ready to be filled. You do not want to face clean up with a loaded and full or loaded and clean dishwasher.
9. Purchase Dollar Store tupperware so people can take leftovers home and not steal your precious tupperware.
10. Have fun - it's not supposed to be so stressful that YOU don't enjoy the day.

We didn't need the turkey breast except for leftovers - I like to have enough to send people home with food. We all want Thanksgiving leftovers, don't we?

Are you hosting Thanksgiving? Going somewhere and making a dish? Give me the scoop.

Forgiveness

When you see the word forgiveness, what comes to mind? What feelings does it invoke?

For a good portion of my life, people who didn’t deserve my forgiveness came to mind. My brain started firing like a machine gun and my chest got tight. Why should I just forgive someone who wronged me? They should have to pay in some way. It should be something I can hang over their head, possibly for eternity. 

Every time I thought about the situation, my chest would begin to agitate like a washing machine. Back and forth between negativity and rage and sadness and then the spin cycle wrung me out and I was just washed out. It was a lot of work churning up all that negativity.

I used to think being forgiving showed weakness. Then I got my head out of my ass and realized the opposite is true – weak people hold on to their hurts and pride themselves on not forgiving. They make their hurts a part of them and blame their hurts for what's wrong in their lives. Weak people give their hurts all the power. It takes a strong person to be knocked down, to stand up again and not allow negativity to claim their lives. It takes a strong person to forgive. 

Forgiveness is not about absolution. You are not telling someone it's okay to mistreat you. Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Forgiveness has nothing to do with anyone besides you. 

When you don’t forgive, you carry the hurt. You grow bitter, resentful, and oversensitive. And when you've been fucked by life in general or are a victim of circumstance, what then? How do you get over it without forgiving it? There’s a reason being happy is infinitely easier than being locked in battle with yourself or someone else. Negative emotions take an incredible amount of energy to hold aloft. In order to hold a grudge, you have to keep bringing yourself down to a place of pain. 

When you do that, there’s no room for anything good and you're too tired to make good happen. You can’t grow as a person because you’re holding yourself back and living in the past.  In addition to being hurt, you’re stunting yourself. Not too smart, is it? 

I’d rather acknowledge that someone hurt me, accept it, say I forgive it and let it go. I’m not giving it any more space in my brain or my heart. I'm taking back the power. I choose what to expend my energy on, and it’s not going to be spent on bullshit or picking at old scabs. I won't hang on to or blame the past. I will own my present and make my future. I won't be a victim. I will be a fucking warrior. 

Sometimes while forgiving people I realize it’s not healthy for them to be in my life anymore so I give them the boot. Forgiving does not mean forgetting in some cases, and while people deserve a lot of chances, I don't think that number is limitless. However, more often forgiving someone leads to a better relationship between us. Everyone makes mistakes and hurts people they love, intentionally and unintentionally as well. If you’d want forgiveness from someone, you need to be someone who gives it to others. We all need mercy and we all need to show mercy at times. 

If you're holding on to old hurts right now, throw a private forgiveness party and kick that shit to the curb toot sweet. And the next time you come up against something painful, don’t hold on to it like it's a badge of honor. Process it as quickly as you can and move towards the positive. Don’t give someone else’s actions the power to dictate how you feel about yourself or how you live your life. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Take a deep breath and reclaim your power. 

Linking up with
Because Shanna Said So - Random Wednesday