A Thanksgiving Timeline

There are 470,892 Thanksgiving recipes out there, so instead of sharing the recipes I used when we hosted Friendsgiving this weekend, I thought I'd share my timeline in painstaking detail because that's what really amps people up. Thanksgiving is a meal where the main course takes up your oven for a lot of the day and there are 702 side dishes you also need to put into the oven. And it has to be on the table simultaneously, so it all comes down to timing. If you want any of the recipes, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com and I'll get them to you. My menu for eight adults and one child:

Appetizers: 
Raw yellow peppers with onion dip
Devilled eggs a la Debbie
Cheese and crackers
Butternut squash soup a la Angie

Main: 
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Stuffing - in the bird and out of the bird
Spinach casserole
Sweet potato casserole
Corn
Green beans
Rolls & butter
Cranberry sauce (jelly)
gravy - with pan drippings
gravy - with pan drippings and giblets

Dessert: 
Peanut Butter and chocolate buckeyes a la Jenny
Apple and pumpkin pie a la Amanda

Dinner was scheduled for Saturday at 6:00. Sorry if this bugs your eyes out, but here's my play by play:

Friday:
2-3 p.m.: Grocery shopping: me at two stores and MFD at two stores.
3:30 - 4: Chop herbs for brine, prepare brine for the turkey, put turkey in the brine breast-side down and into the fridge. Name your turkey. Our turkey's name is Bernard.

4:15: Slice foccacia bread into bite sized pieces for stuffing. Allow to sit out for the rest of the night on a jelly roll pan.
4:30 - 6:00: Chop celery and onions for the stuffing, sage/rosemary/thyme for the stuffing, peppers for the app, onions for the spinach casserole, herbs for herbed butter. Store in separate tupperware containers. Remove a stick of butter from the fridge. Snap ends off of beans, store in a ziploc bag.
6:05: Become consumed with fear that my 15.23 pound turkey will not be enough, and put a 7 pound bone-in turkey breast in the oven. Baste every half hour.
7:00: Thaw and squeeze water from two packs of frozen chopped spinach. Store in tupperware.
8:20: Remove turkey breast, let rest for 20 minutes then remove to platter.
8:30: Make giblet gravy with the pan drippings (MFD).
8:45: MFD carves turkey breast. I cut up lemons, limes, oranges for drinks.

9:00 Make herbed butter with the herbs designated for it and the butter that's been softening for a few hours.
10:00:  Turn the turkey over onto its back in the brine, put the cubed bread into a gallon-sized ziploc.

Saturday: 
8:00 a.m.: Turn turkey over so it's breast side down in brine again.
9:00: Prepare spinach casserole and bake.
9:15: Receive email mentioning butter, realize butter was left out of the casserole, haul ass into the kitchen and frantically add it.
9:30: Prepare sweet potato casserole.
9:40: Remove spinach casserole and allow to cool on counter, put sweet potato casserole into oven.
9:45: Saute onions and celery for out of the bird stuffing, assemble.
10:00: Remove turkey from brine, dry thoroughly with towels, put on a platter and refrigerate.
10:15: Remove sweet potato casserole from oven and allow to cool on counter, put stuffing into oven.
10:15: Realize I will need more bread for in the bird stuffing. Toast backup bag of pre-cubed bread in the oven for 20 minutes. Thank the universe audibly that you always overbuy and do not have to rush to the store. 
10:20: Realize I need more herbs, onions, and celery for in the bird stuffing. Chop then saute.
10:45: Remove stuffing from oven and allow to cool on counter.
11:00: Remove turkey from fridge and set on counter. Dry it again.
11:15: Put stuffing, spinach casserole, and sweet potato casserole in the fridge.

11:45: Prepare turkey with veggie oil, herbed butter, and stuffing.
12 noon: The bird goes in the oven. Baste at 45 minutes and every half hour after that, rotate pan hourly.
12:15 p.m.: Make onion dip and refrigerate.
12:20: Wipe down the kitchen, run the dishwasher, do the kitchen floor. Put towels used to dry out turkey and clean into the wash.
1:15: Consider painting nails but realize you need to wear oven mitts as gloves for the next five hours.
2:00: Set the table.
2:30: Set the drinks up, make extra pitcher of iced tea, put a stick of butter out in a glass dish, fill up salt & pepper shakers
3:15: Turkey smells done and according to the thermometer, it is done. Tent that bird with foil.
3:30: Peel and cut potatoes, store in pot of cold salted water on stove top. Open three cans of corn and put in a bowl, cover with saran and refrigerate.
3:45: Move bird to large platter. Make gravy with pan drippings.
4:00: MFD carves turkey (and eats it surreptitiously like a wild jackal), arranges it in a weird presentation, and covers tightly with foil.
4:10: Turn oven to 200 and put spinach casserole, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole in the oven, covered.
4:30: Raise heat to 350.
5:00: Boil water for potatoes. Start to get really hot after standing in front of oven for eleven hundred days.
5:15: Steam green beans for 6 minutes, put gravy in gravy boats, open cranberry sauce and refrigerate. I am now moving like a well-oiled machine. 
5:25: Put apps and cold drinks out, fill ice bucket, light candles.
5:30: Saute green beans in three batches.
5:30: Finish off mashed potatoes (MFD). I heat up giblet gravy from Friday night.
5:35: Pull sweet potatoes out of the oven, put turkey and mashed potatoes in (covered), reduce heat to 275.
5:45: Put rolls in basket and cover with a towel.
5:50: Remove everything from the oven, put marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole and broil. Put remaining food on the table. Keep a close eye on sweet potatoes. Microwave corn, green beans, and gravy. Go go Gadget arms.
5:58: Make sure everyone has drinks and all dishes have spoons. Ladle soup into bowls. Bark out orders. 
6:00: Grab cranberry sauce in a last chance power drive.
6:04: Sit down to eat. Boom. The meal is eaten in less time than it takes to peel the potatoes, which I only ever do on Thanksgiving. We eat them with skins the rest of the year. 

Haikuesday:

Gather round, my friends. 

(If you fit with all the food)

Can tables collapse?

My advice:
1. Buy what you can. For me that's rolls and cranberry sauce. If you make rolls, make them ahead and freeze them.
2. Do not concoct a pie in the sky menu that you're not going to be able to execute. Keep it simple. Let people fill the holes in your menu. Write down or know a schedule in your head.
3. Do whatever you can before hand - chopping veggies is a big one. Setting out dishes you'll be using is too.
4. Ensure your turkey has ample time to thaw if you buy frozen. And dry that bird like it's the only thing keeping the world from catching on fire.
5. Make dishes ahead and reheat.
6. Have another pair of hands or two for the last 40 minutes and make someone else carve the turkey. MFD took care of the potatoes and Debbie helped with dishes and putting food out.
7. Wash and clean as you go, and get rid of as many dishes as you can before anyone arrives.
8. Have an empty dishwasher ready to be filled. You do not want to face clean up with a loaded and full or loaded and clean dishwasher.
9. Purchase Dollar Store tupperware so people can take leftovers home and not steal your precious tupperware.
10. Have fun - it's not supposed to be so stressful that YOU don't enjoy the day.

We didn't need the turkey breast except for leftovers - I like to have enough to send people home with food. We all want Thanksgiving leftovers, don't we?

Are you hosting Thanksgiving? Going somewhere and making a dish? Give me the scoop.