On my 40th: My Top 10 Rules for Living

Today I turn 40. I am a rule maker and follower, a mantra lover, a quote sharer. Today I forced myself to whittle it down to share only my top 10 rules for living.

1. Never work on your birthday, even if it falls in the middle of the week. I don't care what's going on, take the day off and spend it doing exactly what you want. It doesn't have to be glamorous or exciting, just what you want to do. That can be nothing at all. But for me, doing exactly what I want to do always includes not working for someone.

2. Cultivate your mental toughness. Bad things will happen to you and around you. You can't fall apart at the drop of a hat.

3. Do not rely on others to make you happy or center you. Know how to get to those places yourself.

4. Work first, play later. You'll be more free in play because there's nothing left to get done. Along those lines, know the difference between "must do" and "bonus do."

5. Protect and nurture your circle. Not everyone is going to want, accept, or know how to receive your energy. We are not designed for everyone to like us. Don't get butt hurt over it and don't obsess about it. The people who don't get you don't matter. Make your emotional investment in the people who do get you. Those are your people. They are your family, regardless of blood relation.

6. Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Even when things are bad, there's always a silver lining. Find it even when you have to look hard.

7. Spend a little time outside every day. Get out of your own head.

8. Stand up for what you believe in even if people tell you to sit down or if it means you're standing alone. Live in accordance with your values, serve your conscience, make sure your integrity cannot be bought, and fuck what everyone else thinks.

9. Practice self-care, and not just when someone reminds you to. Putting everyone else before yourself is not noble or admirable. It's foolish. You're worth the time and effort. If you don't do it, you run out of gas and aren't any good to yourself or anyone else.

10. Go into situations with no expectations. If it's awesome, it'll be a bonus. If it sucks, you were prepared for that. Hope for the best, expect the worst. And whenever there's a worst, let that shit go.

My original 40th birthday plans included bumming around at the shore and being carefree and not wearing a huge down jacket. March storm Stelllllaaaaaa had other plans, so I'll roll with it. I can spend MFD's 40th birthday doing what I planned to do for mine. I can stretch this birthday celebration to September, right?

What else? Oh yes, beware the Ides of March, of course. Always.