Me: There are creepy killer clowns in this neighborhood, you know. It was on the neighborhood Facebook page. Sightings from last night.
MFD: You don't know what I was doing after you went to sleep.
Me: Don't even joke. This is so fucked up. Fucking creep clowns. When I go to Target today I'm getting a bat. Do you need anything from Target?
MFD: Can you get me a clown costume?
Me: I just wanted to note that I noticed you emptied the dishwasher and washed dishes yesterday without asking for compliments.
MFD: Give me compliments. Give me compliments.
Me: I want to donate $1000 to the library next year.
MFD: What do you get for that, a free library card?
Me: Ho ho ho. Very funny.
MFD: What?
MFD: Here. I got you debate snacks.
Me: Cheetos?
MFD: They're the puffs
Me: Oh, okay. Oh I get it.
MFD: Get what?
Me: Did you get me these because I call trump Cheeto Jesus?
MFD: No...but it looks like I made a fitting snack choice.
Me: Why are you drinking out of a plastic jug?
MFD: I don't know. Why not?
Me: So stereotypical Philly, yo I'm drinking out of my Wawa jug.
MFD: My drink game is on fleek.
Me: No.
MFD: Are your shoes on fleek?
Me: Nothing here is on fleek.
MFD: What do you think about trump supporters wanting to repeal the 19th Amendment?
Me: Have you ever heard the saying don't poke the bear?
MFD: It's fun.
MFD: I can't find our house nail clippers.
Me: We're going to Target after this, you can get some.
MFD: I was going to stop and get some.
Me: I can't believe you talked to me about nail clippers just now. We've been over this.
MFD: I had to.
Hours later yelling up the stairs
MFD: Steph
Me: If it's political, I don't want to hear it. I'm full up right now.
MFD: It's not but it might be just as bad...where are the nail clippers?
Silence
MFD: We just bought them a few hours ago!
Me: I am not entertaining this line of questioning.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1, Shit MFD Said Vol 2, Shit MFD Said Vol 3, Shit MFD Said Vol 4
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I'm pretty sure that the nail clipper stories are my favorites that and the clown one...which is really creepy that it's happening at all! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston
ReplyDeleteI think MFD should get a murse and keep it full of nail clippers. Scott can never keep track of them either!
ReplyDeleteAlso, for us, it's tweezers (we get a lot of splinters from the prairie brush). I have tweezers in every jacket pocket and placed strategically throughout the house.
Ha ha to the library card and the clown costume.
Haha I think I've mentioned this before but my husband also can't ever keep track of nail clippers even though they are ALWAYS in the same spot in our bathroom. And he doesn't even nail clip on the go! I think you get a free library card and HOURS of wonderful enjoyment out of the library donation, but you know that already ;) Love the photo of MFD fishing - he looks so in his element!
ReplyDeleteCheeto Jesus? I'm dead...literally. HAHAHAAHAHAHHA.
ReplyDeleteTHE NAIL CLIPPERS. Hahaha. And the clown costume. These are the best.
ReplyDeleteCheeto Jesus oh my gosh hahahahah
ReplyDeleteAnd with the nail clippers? Again? Goodness lol
LOL... you don't know what I was doing after you went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteYou could have come back with a trump (cheeto Jesus) costume... Same thing.
Oh the Nail Clipper Saga. It continues.
I misplace the toenail clippers at times. Mike Doyle's nails grow fast. Oh the political stuff. It's scary
ReplyDeleteAnd I've had enough. There would be a lot of long noses if all of these
Politicians had the Pinocchio spell on them!
Lights and Angels extra! Love. Your. Momma
omg these are maybe some of my favorites from him yet! The clown one made me LOL
ReplyDeleteThe Target comment! Haha!
ReplyDeleteVery rarely does K cook, but when he does he sits there and waits for me to shower him and the food in praises. Lol.
I love that he even ASKED you about the 19th Amendment! Brave guy.... haha!
LOLLLL the nail clippers - and also trying to get you to take the bait on the 19th Amendment thing. Love you two!
ReplyDeleteOk the clown costume exchange made me properly crack up. And I love how the nail clippers are now a running theme in these posts. And Cheeto Jesus = Cheesus? Too far?
ReplyDeleteHahaha... love these. Shows the special relationship of a husband and wife. Trump does kind of look like a cheeto... he is VERY orange.
ReplyDeleteYou guys need to put a tracking device on the nail clippers! Cheeto Jesus LOLOLOL Did you get him a creepy clown costume? *shudders*
ReplyDeleteI love the ongoing nail clipper saga! Speaking of, there was a dude on a flight yesterday a row back that I'm fairly certain was clipping his fingernails. NOT OKAY.
ReplyDeleteCant I tell you that every time you do a "Shit MFD said" post I look forward to seeing if he asks about nail clippers? It always makes me laugh. Ha!
ReplyDeleteCheeto Jesus hahahaha! Perfect. Also, the nail clippers thing kills me!
ReplyDeleteHaha the nail clippers! I also love that he said that you could get a free library card for donating to the library! Too funny!
ReplyDeletea fitting snack choice hahaha. i hope you did not get him a clown costume.
ReplyDeleteand seriously with the nail clippers - MFD and his nail clippers. hilarious! that would drive me nuts. what does he do with all of them?!
Haha, what is it with him and nail clippers!? Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis commenting thing is fun. :) I too love the nail clippers story but maybe for a different reason. I looked at the Instagram pic and it looks like he buys nail clippers a lot. Well whenever my husband and I go to target I lose him never fails. So when I take pictures at Target the caption usually reads "guess who I lost?"
ReplyDeleteAs far as emailing me I thought my comment popped up with an email address. No big deal though.
I also love your meal prep posts oh how I wish I could organize myself and do some meal prep. It is a matter of not being lazy I guess. If I can plan out my outfits on Sunday for the week you would think I could attempt meal prep.
Nail clippers are one of those freaky items that mysteriously move around all the time! Although, it doesn't help that my husband has left them on top of the TV before (then he thought it was weird that I didn't think to look there?).
ReplyDeleteHAA! Another hilarious MFD post...I love the 'on fleek' conversation. The house duties requiring compliments (most of the time) sounds eerily familiar ;-)
ReplyDeleteI busted out laughing over the clown, on fleek, & clippers. At one of my jobs we had a candle lighter attached to a shoelace & tied to the counter because people kept losing it. MFD might benefit from a situation like that lol.
ReplyDeleteI DIE at all things MFD and nail clippers. I'm in tears. Not just because he's hilarious but because I can absolutely imagine the 12 shades of red your face turned when he said that. omg.
ReplyDeleteNothing here is on fleek. LOL!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what is better, Cheeto Trump or the nail clippers. :)
ReplyDeleteCheeto Jesus. I'm dead. And now I want Cheetos...
ReplyDeleteYou two crack me up!